Hell Hath No Fury
Part 5
Avon didn’t know how long he’d been working when the intercom on the wall squawked his name, but it had been long enough for him to become completely caught up in Liberator’s circuitry, and it took him a moment to respond. Impatient, the voice came again.
“Avon!”
He hit the button. “Yes, Jenna.”
“If you’re well enough to be fiddling around down there, you’re well enough to come up here and stand your watch,” Jenna told him.
“I am not fiddling around,” Avon protested, wondering only for a moment how she knew exactly what he was doing. Zen must have told her. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Halfway there, he realized he was walking around in his socks, and went back to his cabin to get his boots. Teyet’s shoes were still there where she’d left them, and he crushed the guilty feeling that threatened to rise up when he saw them. On his way out, he picked them up and deposited them outside his door. She’d get them back somehow. Then he went to the flight deck.
“Just keep Liberator on present speed and course,” Jenna told him when he arrived. “Nothing faster, the energy banks still haven’t recharged completely. And if anything looks even as dangerous as Vila, go around it. We’re not in any hurry.”
“Aren’t we?” Avon shot back. “I thought Blake couldn’t wait to destroy Star One.”
“Blake still needs some recharging, too, I think,” Jenna said with the hint of a smile, then left the flight deck. Avon took her place at the flight console. “Zen, how long before we reach the eleventh sector?”
“At present speed, six days, ten hours, and five minutes,” Zen reported.
“That should give Blake plenty of time,” Avon murmured.
“That should give all of us plenty of time.”
Avon glanced around in surprise to see that Cally had come onto the flight deck and was now approaching Zen’s display.
“Zen,” she asked, “are there any habitable planets along our present course?”
“The nearest habitable planet is BHK-4,” Zen replied. “It was marked as a possibility for colonization, but currently has no population.”
“Well, that won’t do,” Cally said. “I’m sorry, Zen, I was not precise. What is the nearest populated planet?”
“The nearest populated planet is Zircaster, but it would require a detour of two days and two hours to reach it,” Zen said.
“Zircaster,” Cally repeated thoughtfully, and Avon said, “Why do you want to know?”
“Blake was asking,” Cally told him. “I’m not sure he’ll want to suggest Zircaster to Teyet, though.”
Avon caught the inference immediately. “So now she wants to leave, does she? Well. The Liberator is not exactly a suitable place for children.”
“She didn’t say anything, it was Blake,” Cally said. After a moment, she came over and placed her hand on Avon’s arm. “Oh, Avon, you have the right to feel used, but don’t be angry with Teyet. She is just as much a victim as you were – probably more.”
Because Avon did not know how to answer that, he merely gave Cally his iciest glare. She squeezed his arm, offered him a quick smile, then let go and walked away.
+++++
It wasn’t until the next day that he saw Teyet again. He’d finished his watch on the flight deck and had gone down to the dining area for something to eat before heading to the sub-control room again. She was the only person there when he came in, sitting at the table closest to the food dispenser. Hearing his steps, Teyet glanced up, and the expression on her face turned distinctly unfriendly as she recognized him. They looked at each other for a moment, waiting for the other to speak, and then Teyet stood up suddenly. She wobbled only once and caught herself on the nearest table. It reminded Avon of when she’d fallen in his cabin, and his eyes flicked automatically to her forehead. The bruise was gone; Cally must have treated it with the tissue regenerator. Glaring back at him, Teyet straightened up and turned almost sideways in an exaggerated attempt to stay as far away from Avon as possible on her way out the door.
Nobody on board the Liberator had ever walked out on Avon like that before, and he was surprised that it hurt. Ignoring the feeling, telling himself he was imagining it, he got his food and sat down, choosing a place where he couldn’t see the tray that Teyet had left behind.
He’d almost finished eating when Blake came in. Blake was walking more slowly than he usually did, but otherwise he looked fine, and he smiled when he saw who else was in the dining area. “Avon!”
“Blake,” Avon said, less enthusiastically.
“I wanted to have a word with you,” Blake said as he considered the buttons on the food dispenser, then made his choice. “I need your advice.”
“And will you take it if I give it to you?” Avon asked. “Or shall we merely pretend that we’ve already had this conversation so that you can do whatever you’ve been planning all along?”
“That’s just it,” Blake said, bringing his tray over to the table and sitting down opposite Avon. “I haven’t got a plan just yet.”
Suddenly certain that they were not talking about Star One, or even the Liberator, Avon waited, and as he’d expected, Blake went on.
“It’s about Teyet,” Blake said. “Cally told me she doesn’t want to stay on board any longer.”
“If you’re asking about the nearest populated planet, it’s Zircaster,” Avon said. “Cally already asked Zen. And the next one after that would be Chelus.”
“I wasn’t asking that.” Blake sounded slightly annoyed.
“No? Then what were you asking?”
“I’m asking if you have any objections to going to Destiny.”
Avon frowned. “Why should I?”
“I thought about offering to take Teyet there. We know some of the people there, she wouldn’t be alone among strangers.”
“I repeat, Blake, why should I have any objections?” Avon asked icily.
Blake gave him a look that he couldn’t interpret. “If you were to change your mind, want to make it up with her, for instance … well, we’d be far off course from Star One.”
“I have no intention of changing my mind, and there is nothing to make up,” Avon told him. “And as for being far off course from Star One, I should think that would affect you more than me.”
“She’s the mother of your child, Avon. Doesn’t that affect you?”
“If Travis had not been there, we would now all be far away from the mothers of our children, Blake,” Avon pointed out. “This current situation does not affect me more than that would have.”
“If Travis had not been there, we would have left them surrounded by friends and family,” Blake said. “They wouldn’t be alone in the galaxy and rejected by the very person they should be closest to.”
That stung, but Avon tried not to show it. Blake pressed his advantage by continuing. “But if Travis hadn’t been there, we’d never have found out about the symbiote, never have known we were being manipulated and used, and we could have left there with happy memories, thinking it was all …”
He trailed off, searching for the right word.
“Natural?” Avon suggested mockingly. “Normal?”
“Thinking that the women accepted us because of who we were, not what we were,” Blake finally finished. “Because they liked us, not just because we were male bodies.”
“But that is what we were,” Avon said. “That’s all we were. They did not like us, certainly not for our sparkling personalities.”
Blake made a small shrug. “But there was always the possibility that they could have. And I think Teyet liked you afterwards. Remember how she said she might stay, because you liked computers, too?”
Avon did not want to be reminded of that and looked away, saying nothing.
“Well, maybe it’s for the best,” Blake said, surprising him enough that he looked back. Blake went on. “After all, there’s always the possibility that Teyet would reject you now if she really did get to know you well enough.”
Even though Avon had never consciously considered the idea, he reacted anyway.“Shut up, Blake.”
“Probably best to push her away first instead of running the risk that she’d stop liking you if you started treating her like Vila.”
“I would never treat her like Vila,” Avon snarled. “She’s much more intelligent.”
Blake smiled as though they had come to a satisfactory agreement. “Well, there you go then! You both have something in common, now go build on it!”
“You are not a puppeteer, Blake, and I am not your puppet. You cannot force me into a relationship that I do not want,” Avon snarled, but it didn’t seem to have any affect on the man.
“This is your chance, Avon!” Blake urged. “You can have a family! A wife and a son!”
“Are you telling me what I want, Blake, or what you want?” Avon asked, and it was enough. Blake gave in, sinking back in his seat with an expression of defeat.
“You’re right. I’m telling you what I would want in your place,” he said quietly, then stood up, taking his tray with him. At the door, he stopped and turned back, just for a moment. “Except I would have had a daughter.”
After Blake had gone, Avon stalked to the sub-control room. Doing something with the ship would help calm him down and make him more objective. As he worked, his thoughts gradually stopped whirling and started to make some kind of sense. He no longer wanted to get emotionally close to Teyet –- if he ever had – not after the betrayal of finding out that their physical relationship had been artificially manipulated, and certainly not after the way she’d walked out of the dining area just a few minutes ago. And what was the point in even trying, anyway? According to Blake, she’d already made up her mind to leave. It was probably for the best. As he’d told Cally, the Liberator was not a suitable place for children. It would be easier for everybody if she and the baby were safe on some planet somewhere, instead of being a distraction that needed special protection on board the Liberator.
On the other hand, she was good with computers, and she didn’t have to be his wife, or even his lover, to duplicate her research here. The Liberator – no, not just the Liberator could benefit from it, they all would. But he’d probably have to apologize before they could work together. Avon grimaced. He found apologies difficult and did not like giving them. Apologies meant he’d made a mistake, and mistakes showed that he was vulnerable, which was not how he wanted to be seen. This particular apology could also be potentially humiliating. Avon took a long time to consider just how valuable Teyet’s research could be, weighing it against the risk to himself, and finally decided that the apology was inevitable. That meant he should get it over with as soon as possible.
With the help of Zen, he tracked Teyet to her cabin. It was late, according to shipboard time, but not too late, and Avon had no qualms about standing outside her door and calling her name.
“Who is it?” she called back.
“It’s Avon.”
There was a long pause, and then Teyet opened the door. She stood there, her hand hovering near the controls, and glared hostilely at him.
“May I come in?” he asked.
“Why?” she retorted.
“Because I don’t want to apologize out here in the corridor.”
Teyet considered, then said, “Do it anyway.”
Well, it was her choice. Avon shrugged mentally, then said, “I am … sorry … that I reacted the way I did when I found out about the symbiote.”
Teyet waited without speaking, but her expression clearly indicated she was hoping for more. Avon pulled himself together to offer the only thing he could.
“I hope you can accept my apology and that we can work together again,” he said, trying not to let the difficulty he had in forming the words show in any way.
“I don’t know if I can,” Teyet said. “You really hurt me, Avon.”
“I know,” Avon admitted, but he did not apologize a second time.
Teyet looked away, and when she spoke again, her voice was a harsh whisper, as though she too were having difficulty speaking. “I thought, of all the people on board this ship, I could expect more from you. I really thought we …”
Her voice trailed off, and she bunched her hands to fists. Finally, she managed to speak again. “I don’t know. I have to think about this.”
Avon nodded silently, and turned to go. He was aware of her watching as he walked away, and it wasn’t until he was halfway down the corridor that he finally heard her door slide closed.
+++++
It was at breakfast when Avon saw Teyet again. She came in while he was eating, and for a moment, they both stopped to look at each other. Then, stiffly and quite tentatively, Teyet said, “I accept your apology, Avon, and I think we can still work together. I’m willing to try, I mean.”
“All right.” Avon waited until she’d finished her meal, then led the way to the flight deck and Orac. As they worked, the awkwardness between them gradually faded and Teyet became more animated, the passion returning to her eyes. Even Avon felt himself relaxing, and after a while, the only clue he had to the passing of time was whenever Teyet insisted they take a break and have something to eat. She wanted to eat much more frequently than Avon did, but he acquiesced each time without too much protest.
Eventually, Teyet yawned, then announced, “I think that’s about all I can do with Orac to-day.”
Avon looked up. “It’s not that late.”
“Not by your standards, maybe.” Teyet smiled for the first time that day. “I’ve only got enough energy left to get into bed.”
Avon was about to tell her to go on, he could continue by himself, when she lowered her voice a little and added, “Your cabin or mine?”
Caught by surprise, Avon hesitated for a moment before being able to answer, “No.”
Teyet’s smile wavered and confusion showed on her face, but Avon could tell she wasn’t convinced yet. They’d been working so well together that she had probably confused it with emotional intimacy. To make things absolutely clear, he said it again. “No. We will cooperate on this project, that is all. Nothing more.”
“Then why did you apologise?” she asked. Pain and anger had taken over her expression. “If all you wanted was – that’s it, isn’t it? My computer research. That’s the only reason why you apologised.”
“Yes,” Avon admitted.
“I can’t believe I fell for it,” Teyet said, her voice becoming louder and angrier. “I can’t believe how stupid I am!”
Avon waited, acutely aware that Vila was also on the flight deck. The other man had been dozing, as he usually did, but Teyet’s voice had woken him up and Avon saw him stretch a little. Thankfully, however, he did not speak, just watched.
“If you reject me, Avon, then I reject you!” Teyet exclaimed. “Orac, erase every bit of information pertaining to the brain wave—“
“Orac, no!” Avon cut in. “Do not erase any information!”
“Well, make up your mind!” the computer protested. “Shall I erase something or shan’t I?”
“Yes!” Teyet tried again, but Avon, unwilling to lose so much, grabbed the back of her head with one hand and slammed his other hand over her mouth, holding it shut.
“Orac, do not erase any information—“ he stopped with a grunt because Teyet had kicked him hard in the shin and was trying to bite his fingers. She’d also grabbed his wrist with both hands and was digging her fingers into his tendons, but he managed to ignore her attempts for as long as it took him to say,“—on the brain wave research project. This order has no countermand.”
Teyet kicked him again. He let go – the danger was over anyway – and stepped back out of range. They glared at each other, then Teyet gave an almighty screech and raced around to the other side of Orac. Before Avon realized what she was doing, she had grabbed Orac and heaved it off its table. The computer was too heavy for her to lift easily, however, and she staggered backwards a few steps in her attempt to get it higher than her chest. Coming around the table, Avon reached out to grasp Orac’s sides.
“I’ll destroy it!” she screamed, trying to wrestle it away from him. “I won’t let you have it!”
Avon pulled backwards as well, and for a moment, Teyet stumbled towards him. Then she kicked him in the shin yet again and simultaneously gave a mighty tug in the opposite direction. Avon’s grip had already loosened because of the pain, but he wasn’t quick enough to let go completely as Teyet lost her balance and fell backwards. They landed in a heap on the floor of the flight deck.
Full of dread, Avon got to his feet. Orac had fallen onto Teyet’s head and wobbled precariously on top of it. When Avon pulled it away, he saw that Teyet had managed to turn her face away at the last moment, but there was still blood streaming from her nose and bruises forming. Her eyes were open, but she wasn’t moving just yet.
“Teyet?” Vila came around from behind him. “Are you all right? Oh, dear. I can’t stand the sight of blood. I’m coming over all funny, Avon.”
“Shut up, Vila, if that’s all you can say!” Avon snarled. He placed Orac back on its table. “She’s probably just dazed, but one of us should take her to the medical unit.”
Because Vila showed no signs of helping, Avon reluctantly reached out to take Teyet’s arm, but she pulled away from his grip and hissed, “Don’t touch me!”
Avon let go in a deliberate gesture, showing her his empty hands and backing away. Teyet sat up, leaning on one hand, and raised the other to her face, wincing as she touched her nose. Tears began suddenly to run down her face, but she still managed a glare and a hoarse whisper. “I hate you, I hate you! I don’t want any part of you! When I get to Destiny, I’m going to have – have an abortion!”
She said the word at once both hesitantly and provocatively, as though she were a child using a bad word for the first time in an attempt to shock and hurt. And Avon did feel a twinge of something before he tamped the feeling down and told himself it was probably for the best. Close ties, even not-so-close familial ties, could be used against them.
“You don’t care, do you?” Teyet went on, noting his lack of visible reaction. “You just don’t care. I wish I’d destroyed Orac! Maybe that would have hurt you as much as you hurt me.”
Avon kept his face impassive, not willing to show his vulnerability by conceding that she was right, and after a moment, Teyet’s shoulders slumped and she looked away. At length, she started to get up, and didn’t resist when Vila helped. They left the flight deck in silence and Avon waited until they were gone before he turned back to Orac.
“Orac, damage report.”
“I am undamaged,” Orac replied, and Avon relaxed ever so slightly in relief.
+++++
“Blake told me he’d asked you to make it up with Teyet, but I don’t think this is what he had in mind,” Cally said. “Are you all right? What about Orac?”
“No damage done,” Avon said in answer to both questions. He’d taken Orac to his cabin the night before, to keep the computer safe in case Teyet should want to have another go at destroying her research. Now, he’d taken it with him to the sub-control room with the faint hope of continuing the brain-wave project, but his enthusiasm for the entire thing had died overnight. And then Cally had come in.
“This is not what I’d had in mind, either,” he said, releasing a sigh. “I apologised. She … read too much into it.”
“It must have been hard for her, growing up without men,” Cally mused.
“The plague only happened three years ago,” Avon protested. “That is hardly ‘growing up without men.’”
“It probably made a difference, though, especially to someone as young as she is.”
“She certainly acted like a child,” Avon remembered. He hadn’t gone to medical yet to treat the contusions on his shin, and they ached whenever he moved his leg. Annoying, yes, but hardly damaging. He could wait until he was certain that he wouldn’t run into Teyet in the medical unit.
“True,” Cally conceded. “At least she wasn’t too badly hurt. Her nose was only bruised, not broken, and she didn’t even have a concussion.”
“She was lucky,” Avon replied.
“Physically.” Cally paused. “She told me she’ll never trust another man again.”
“Well now, that might not be such a bad thing,” Avon said with a quick, mirthless smile.
“Wouldn’t it?” Cally asked. “I think it would be a great tragedy, especially if she teaches her son the same thing.”
“She won’t,” Avon said shortly. “She told me she would get an abortion.”
“I don’t think she’d do that,” Cally mused. “From what I gather, abortion was rarely allowed on Ferron, even before the plague. There might even have been some kind of stigma about it. She probably only said it to hurt you, Avon.”
“I know,” he replied.
“Would it hurt you, if she actually did it?” Cally asked unexpectedly, looking into his eyes. It made Avon feel uncomfortable, and he responded with a defensive question of his own. “Why do you ask?”
“Because it would hurt me greatly if I lost a child,” she said. “And I would be hurt, too, if you lost yours, especially in these circumstances.”
“It would be better,” Avon said, sidestepping the actual question. “There’s too much risk. If the Federation ever found out … remember how Blake reacted when Travis held his uncle hostage? We’d be even more vulnerable with children.”
Cally laid her hand silently on Avon’s arm for a long moment, then gave him a quick, sad smile and walked out. Avon watched her go, wondering if she’d sensed … but of course there was nothing for her to sense. Nothing at all.
+++++
The journey to Destiny seemed to take forever, but at last it was over and they were orbiting the planet. Avon hadn’t seen much of Teyet during that time; she had apparently gone out of her way to stay out of sight. The one time they had met by accident on the flight deck, she’d turned bright red, then stammered an excuse to leave her conversation with Jenna before fleeing.
Jenna had given him a wry look and said with unexpected candour, “I’ll be glad when she’s gone and we can get back to normal.”
“Yes,” Avon had replied. Teyet had seemed more embarrassed than angry, which Avon thought was a distinct improvement. At least she hadn’t looked like she was about to attack either him or Orac again. But just because she couldn’t do it in his presence didn’t mean she wasn’t plotting something in his absence, and he’d continued to keep the computer under his watchful eye at all times. He hadn’t got back to the brain wave project, though, and once or twice, he found himself wondering if he ever would.
Now they were getting ready to teleport Blake and Teyet down to the surface, and the others had gathered in the teleport section to say good-bye. Blake had even invited Avon to come, perhaps hoping for a last-minute reconciliation, but Avon had refused, stating that he preferred to wait on the flight deck. He sat on the couch next to Orac’s table, his arms folded across his chest, and silently willed the process to go faster so that they could get back on route to Star One and the Federation computer.
Cally and Vila came back together and sat down across from Avon. After a moment of silence, Cally jogged Vila’s arm. “What did Teyet tell you to say to Avon?”
Vila looked up, his eyes eager, but his manner hesitant.
“I can guess it wasn’t an apology,” Avon replied, but his curiosity was piqued.
“I can leave if it was a personal message,” Cally volunteered. Avon almost wished she would, but now Jenna had joined them on the flight deck, too, looking as curious as he felt.
“Oh, it wasn’t really personal,” Vila replied. “She just said to tell you that she was seriously thinking about my suggestion.”
“Really.” Avon refused to ask what the suggestion was.
“Yes, we all heard that part,” said Jenna, coming up to stand behind them, “but what did you suggest, Vila?”
“Come on, Vila,” Cally put in. “You made her smile – I’d like to know what you said.”
Vila stood up suddenly. “Anybody for a drink?”
“Vila!” the two women exclaimed simultaneously, and Vila scuttled closer to Jenna as though for protection. His eyes were still gleaming, though, and Avon could tell he really wanted to blurt it all out.
“All right.” Vila finally felt safe enough to speak. “I told her she should forget the abortion. If she really wanted to annoy Avon, she should have the baby and name it after me.”
Jenna and Cally both burst out laughing, and even Vila grinned, despite continuing to watch Avon closely for any signs of an impending attack. Avon stood up, just for the satisfaction of watching the other man take a nervous step back. But as he walked around the other way to get to his station, he smiled, too.
Because sometimes there were situations in which he could either laugh or cry, and Avon never cried.
The End
Back to Main Page
“Avon!”
He hit the button. “Yes, Jenna.”
“If you’re well enough to be fiddling around down there, you’re well enough to come up here and stand your watch,” Jenna told him.
“I am not fiddling around,” Avon protested, wondering only for a moment how she knew exactly what he was doing. Zen must have told her. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Halfway there, he realized he was walking around in his socks, and went back to his cabin to get his boots. Teyet’s shoes were still there where she’d left them, and he crushed the guilty feeling that threatened to rise up when he saw them. On his way out, he picked them up and deposited them outside his door. She’d get them back somehow. Then he went to the flight deck.
“Just keep Liberator on present speed and course,” Jenna told him when he arrived. “Nothing faster, the energy banks still haven’t recharged completely. And if anything looks even as dangerous as Vila, go around it. We’re not in any hurry.”
“Aren’t we?” Avon shot back. “I thought Blake couldn’t wait to destroy Star One.”
“Blake still needs some recharging, too, I think,” Jenna said with the hint of a smile, then left the flight deck. Avon took her place at the flight console. “Zen, how long before we reach the eleventh sector?”
“At present speed, six days, ten hours, and five minutes,” Zen reported.
“That should give Blake plenty of time,” Avon murmured.
“That should give all of us plenty of time.”
Avon glanced around in surprise to see that Cally had come onto the flight deck and was now approaching Zen’s display.
“Zen,” she asked, “are there any habitable planets along our present course?”
“The nearest habitable planet is BHK-4,” Zen replied. “It was marked as a possibility for colonization, but currently has no population.”
“Well, that won’t do,” Cally said. “I’m sorry, Zen, I was not precise. What is the nearest populated planet?”
“The nearest populated planet is Zircaster, but it would require a detour of two days and two hours to reach it,” Zen said.
“Zircaster,” Cally repeated thoughtfully, and Avon said, “Why do you want to know?”
“Blake was asking,” Cally told him. “I’m not sure he’ll want to suggest Zircaster to Teyet, though.”
Avon caught the inference immediately. “So now she wants to leave, does she? Well. The Liberator is not exactly a suitable place for children.”
“She didn’t say anything, it was Blake,” Cally said. After a moment, she came over and placed her hand on Avon’s arm. “Oh, Avon, you have the right to feel used, but don’t be angry with Teyet. She is just as much a victim as you were – probably more.”
Because Avon did not know how to answer that, he merely gave Cally his iciest glare. She squeezed his arm, offered him a quick smile, then let go and walked away.
+++++
It wasn’t until the next day that he saw Teyet again. He’d finished his watch on the flight deck and had gone down to the dining area for something to eat before heading to the sub-control room again. She was the only person there when he came in, sitting at the table closest to the food dispenser. Hearing his steps, Teyet glanced up, and the expression on her face turned distinctly unfriendly as she recognized him. They looked at each other for a moment, waiting for the other to speak, and then Teyet stood up suddenly. She wobbled only once and caught herself on the nearest table. It reminded Avon of when she’d fallen in his cabin, and his eyes flicked automatically to her forehead. The bruise was gone; Cally must have treated it with the tissue regenerator. Glaring back at him, Teyet straightened up and turned almost sideways in an exaggerated attempt to stay as far away from Avon as possible on her way out the door.
Nobody on board the Liberator had ever walked out on Avon like that before, and he was surprised that it hurt. Ignoring the feeling, telling himself he was imagining it, he got his food and sat down, choosing a place where he couldn’t see the tray that Teyet had left behind.
He’d almost finished eating when Blake came in. Blake was walking more slowly than he usually did, but otherwise he looked fine, and he smiled when he saw who else was in the dining area. “Avon!”
“Blake,” Avon said, less enthusiastically.
“I wanted to have a word with you,” Blake said as he considered the buttons on the food dispenser, then made his choice. “I need your advice.”
“And will you take it if I give it to you?” Avon asked. “Or shall we merely pretend that we’ve already had this conversation so that you can do whatever you’ve been planning all along?”
“That’s just it,” Blake said, bringing his tray over to the table and sitting down opposite Avon. “I haven’t got a plan just yet.”
Suddenly certain that they were not talking about Star One, or even the Liberator, Avon waited, and as he’d expected, Blake went on.
“It’s about Teyet,” Blake said. “Cally told me she doesn’t want to stay on board any longer.”
“If you’re asking about the nearest populated planet, it’s Zircaster,” Avon said. “Cally already asked Zen. And the next one after that would be Chelus.”
“I wasn’t asking that.” Blake sounded slightly annoyed.
“No? Then what were you asking?”
“I’m asking if you have any objections to going to Destiny.”
Avon frowned. “Why should I?”
“I thought about offering to take Teyet there. We know some of the people there, she wouldn’t be alone among strangers.”
“I repeat, Blake, why should I have any objections?” Avon asked icily.
Blake gave him a look that he couldn’t interpret. “If you were to change your mind, want to make it up with her, for instance … well, we’d be far off course from Star One.”
“I have no intention of changing my mind, and there is nothing to make up,” Avon told him. “And as for being far off course from Star One, I should think that would affect you more than me.”
“She’s the mother of your child, Avon. Doesn’t that affect you?”
“If Travis had not been there, we would now all be far away from the mothers of our children, Blake,” Avon pointed out. “This current situation does not affect me more than that would have.”
“If Travis had not been there, we would have left them surrounded by friends and family,” Blake said. “They wouldn’t be alone in the galaxy and rejected by the very person they should be closest to.”
That stung, but Avon tried not to show it. Blake pressed his advantage by continuing. “But if Travis hadn’t been there, we’d never have found out about the symbiote, never have known we were being manipulated and used, and we could have left there with happy memories, thinking it was all …”
He trailed off, searching for the right word.
“Natural?” Avon suggested mockingly. “Normal?”
“Thinking that the women accepted us because of who we were, not what we were,” Blake finally finished. “Because they liked us, not just because we were male bodies.”
“But that is what we were,” Avon said. “That’s all we were. They did not like us, certainly not for our sparkling personalities.”
Blake made a small shrug. “But there was always the possibility that they could have. And I think Teyet liked you afterwards. Remember how she said she might stay, because you liked computers, too?”
Avon did not want to be reminded of that and looked away, saying nothing.
“Well, maybe it’s for the best,” Blake said, surprising him enough that he looked back. Blake went on. “After all, there’s always the possibility that Teyet would reject you now if she really did get to know you well enough.”
Even though Avon had never consciously considered the idea, he reacted anyway.“Shut up, Blake.”
“Probably best to push her away first instead of running the risk that she’d stop liking you if you started treating her like Vila.”
“I would never treat her like Vila,” Avon snarled. “She’s much more intelligent.”
Blake smiled as though they had come to a satisfactory agreement. “Well, there you go then! You both have something in common, now go build on it!”
“You are not a puppeteer, Blake, and I am not your puppet. You cannot force me into a relationship that I do not want,” Avon snarled, but it didn’t seem to have any affect on the man.
“This is your chance, Avon!” Blake urged. “You can have a family! A wife and a son!”
“Are you telling me what I want, Blake, or what you want?” Avon asked, and it was enough. Blake gave in, sinking back in his seat with an expression of defeat.
“You’re right. I’m telling you what I would want in your place,” he said quietly, then stood up, taking his tray with him. At the door, he stopped and turned back, just for a moment. “Except I would have had a daughter.”
After Blake had gone, Avon stalked to the sub-control room. Doing something with the ship would help calm him down and make him more objective. As he worked, his thoughts gradually stopped whirling and started to make some kind of sense. He no longer wanted to get emotionally close to Teyet –- if he ever had – not after the betrayal of finding out that their physical relationship had been artificially manipulated, and certainly not after the way she’d walked out of the dining area just a few minutes ago. And what was the point in even trying, anyway? According to Blake, she’d already made up her mind to leave. It was probably for the best. As he’d told Cally, the Liberator was not a suitable place for children. It would be easier for everybody if she and the baby were safe on some planet somewhere, instead of being a distraction that needed special protection on board the Liberator.
On the other hand, she was good with computers, and she didn’t have to be his wife, or even his lover, to duplicate her research here. The Liberator – no, not just the Liberator could benefit from it, they all would. But he’d probably have to apologize before they could work together. Avon grimaced. He found apologies difficult and did not like giving them. Apologies meant he’d made a mistake, and mistakes showed that he was vulnerable, which was not how he wanted to be seen. This particular apology could also be potentially humiliating. Avon took a long time to consider just how valuable Teyet’s research could be, weighing it against the risk to himself, and finally decided that the apology was inevitable. That meant he should get it over with as soon as possible.
With the help of Zen, he tracked Teyet to her cabin. It was late, according to shipboard time, but not too late, and Avon had no qualms about standing outside her door and calling her name.
“Who is it?” she called back.
“It’s Avon.”
There was a long pause, and then Teyet opened the door. She stood there, her hand hovering near the controls, and glared hostilely at him.
“May I come in?” he asked.
“Why?” she retorted.
“Because I don’t want to apologize out here in the corridor.”
Teyet considered, then said, “Do it anyway.”
Well, it was her choice. Avon shrugged mentally, then said, “I am … sorry … that I reacted the way I did when I found out about the symbiote.”
Teyet waited without speaking, but her expression clearly indicated she was hoping for more. Avon pulled himself together to offer the only thing he could.
“I hope you can accept my apology and that we can work together again,” he said, trying not to let the difficulty he had in forming the words show in any way.
“I don’t know if I can,” Teyet said. “You really hurt me, Avon.”
“I know,” Avon admitted, but he did not apologize a second time.
Teyet looked away, and when she spoke again, her voice was a harsh whisper, as though she too were having difficulty speaking. “I thought, of all the people on board this ship, I could expect more from you. I really thought we …”
Her voice trailed off, and she bunched her hands to fists. Finally, she managed to speak again. “I don’t know. I have to think about this.”
Avon nodded silently, and turned to go. He was aware of her watching as he walked away, and it wasn’t until he was halfway down the corridor that he finally heard her door slide closed.
+++++
It was at breakfast when Avon saw Teyet again. She came in while he was eating, and for a moment, they both stopped to look at each other. Then, stiffly and quite tentatively, Teyet said, “I accept your apology, Avon, and I think we can still work together. I’m willing to try, I mean.”
“All right.” Avon waited until she’d finished her meal, then led the way to the flight deck and Orac. As they worked, the awkwardness between them gradually faded and Teyet became more animated, the passion returning to her eyes. Even Avon felt himself relaxing, and after a while, the only clue he had to the passing of time was whenever Teyet insisted they take a break and have something to eat. She wanted to eat much more frequently than Avon did, but he acquiesced each time without too much protest.
Eventually, Teyet yawned, then announced, “I think that’s about all I can do with Orac to-day.”
Avon looked up. “It’s not that late.”
“Not by your standards, maybe.” Teyet smiled for the first time that day. “I’ve only got enough energy left to get into bed.”
Avon was about to tell her to go on, he could continue by himself, when she lowered her voice a little and added, “Your cabin or mine?”
Caught by surprise, Avon hesitated for a moment before being able to answer, “No.”
Teyet’s smile wavered and confusion showed on her face, but Avon could tell she wasn’t convinced yet. They’d been working so well together that she had probably confused it with emotional intimacy. To make things absolutely clear, he said it again. “No. We will cooperate on this project, that is all. Nothing more.”
“Then why did you apologise?” she asked. Pain and anger had taken over her expression. “If all you wanted was – that’s it, isn’t it? My computer research. That’s the only reason why you apologised.”
“Yes,” Avon admitted.
“I can’t believe I fell for it,” Teyet said, her voice becoming louder and angrier. “I can’t believe how stupid I am!”
Avon waited, acutely aware that Vila was also on the flight deck. The other man had been dozing, as he usually did, but Teyet’s voice had woken him up and Avon saw him stretch a little. Thankfully, however, he did not speak, just watched.
“If you reject me, Avon, then I reject you!” Teyet exclaimed. “Orac, erase every bit of information pertaining to the brain wave—“
“Orac, no!” Avon cut in. “Do not erase any information!”
“Well, make up your mind!” the computer protested. “Shall I erase something or shan’t I?”
“Yes!” Teyet tried again, but Avon, unwilling to lose so much, grabbed the back of her head with one hand and slammed his other hand over her mouth, holding it shut.
“Orac, do not erase any information—“ he stopped with a grunt because Teyet had kicked him hard in the shin and was trying to bite his fingers. She’d also grabbed his wrist with both hands and was digging her fingers into his tendons, but he managed to ignore her attempts for as long as it took him to say,“—on the brain wave research project. This order has no countermand.”
Teyet kicked him again. He let go – the danger was over anyway – and stepped back out of range. They glared at each other, then Teyet gave an almighty screech and raced around to the other side of Orac. Before Avon realized what she was doing, she had grabbed Orac and heaved it off its table. The computer was too heavy for her to lift easily, however, and she staggered backwards a few steps in her attempt to get it higher than her chest. Coming around the table, Avon reached out to grasp Orac’s sides.
“I’ll destroy it!” she screamed, trying to wrestle it away from him. “I won’t let you have it!”
Avon pulled backwards as well, and for a moment, Teyet stumbled towards him. Then she kicked him in the shin yet again and simultaneously gave a mighty tug in the opposite direction. Avon’s grip had already loosened because of the pain, but he wasn’t quick enough to let go completely as Teyet lost her balance and fell backwards. They landed in a heap on the floor of the flight deck.
Full of dread, Avon got to his feet. Orac had fallen onto Teyet’s head and wobbled precariously on top of it. When Avon pulled it away, he saw that Teyet had managed to turn her face away at the last moment, but there was still blood streaming from her nose and bruises forming. Her eyes were open, but she wasn’t moving just yet.
“Teyet?” Vila came around from behind him. “Are you all right? Oh, dear. I can’t stand the sight of blood. I’m coming over all funny, Avon.”
“Shut up, Vila, if that’s all you can say!” Avon snarled. He placed Orac back on its table. “She’s probably just dazed, but one of us should take her to the medical unit.”
Because Vila showed no signs of helping, Avon reluctantly reached out to take Teyet’s arm, but she pulled away from his grip and hissed, “Don’t touch me!”
Avon let go in a deliberate gesture, showing her his empty hands and backing away. Teyet sat up, leaning on one hand, and raised the other to her face, wincing as she touched her nose. Tears began suddenly to run down her face, but she still managed a glare and a hoarse whisper. “I hate you, I hate you! I don’t want any part of you! When I get to Destiny, I’m going to have – have an abortion!”
She said the word at once both hesitantly and provocatively, as though she were a child using a bad word for the first time in an attempt to shock and hurt. And Avon did feel a twinge of something before he tamped the feeling down and told himself it was probably for the best. Close ties, even not-so-close familial ties, could be used against them.
“You don’t care, do you?” Teyet went on, noting his lack of visible reaction. “You just don’t care. I wish I’d destroyed Orac! Maybe that would have hurt you as much as you hurt me.”
Avon kept his face impassive, not willing to show his vulnerability by conceding that she was right, and after a moment, Teyet’s shoulders slumped and she looked away. At length, she started to get up, and didn’t resist when Vila helped. They left the flight deck in silence and Avon waited until they were gone before he turned back to Orac.
“Orac, damage report.”
“I am undamaged,” Orac replied, and Avon relaxed ever so slightly in relief.
+++++
“Blake told me he’d asked you to make it up with Teyet, but I don’t think this is what he had in mind,” Cally said. “Are you all right? What about Orac?”
“No damage done,” Avon said in answer to both questions. He’d taken Orac to his cabin the night before, to keep the computer safe in case Teyet should want to have another go at destroying her research. Now, he’d taken it with him to the sub-control room with the faint hope of continuing the brain-wave project, but his enthusiasm for the entire thing had died overnight. And then Cally had come in.
“This is not what I’d had in mind, either,” he said, releasing a sigh. “I apologised. She … read too much into it.”
“It must have been hard for her, growing up without men,” Cally mused.
“The plague only happened three years ago,” Avon protested. “That is hardly ‘growing up without men.’”
“It probably made a difference, though, especially to someone as young as she is.”
“She certainly acted like a child,” Avon remembered. He hadn’t gone to medical yet to treat the contusions on his shin, and they ached whenever he moved his leg. Annoying, yes, but hardly damaging. He could wait until he was certain that he wouldn’t run into Teyet in the medical unit.
“True,” Cally conceded. “At least she wasn’t too badly hurt. Her nose was only bruised, not broken, and she didn’t even have a concussion.”
“She was lucky,” Avon replied.
“Physically.” Cally paused. “She told me she’ll never trust another man again.”
“Well now, that might not be such a bad thing,” Avon said with a quick, mirthless smile.
“Wouldn’t it?” Cally asked. “I think it would be a great tragedy, especially if she teaches her son the same thing.”
“She won’t,” Avon said shortly. “She told me she would get an abortion.”
“I don’t think she’d do that,” Cally mused. “From what I gather, abortion was rarely allowed on Ferron, even before the plague. There might even have been some kind of stigma about it. She probably only said it to hurt you, Avon.”
“I know,” he replied.
“Would it hurt you, if she actually did it?” Cally asked unexpectedly, looking into his eyes. It made Avon feel uncomfortable, and he responded with a defensive question of his own. “Why do you ask?”
“Because it would hurt me greatly if I lost a child,” she said. “And I would be hurt, too, if you lost yours, especially in these circumstances.”
“It would be better,” Avon said, sidestepping the actual question. “There’s too much risk. If the Federation ever found out … remember how Blake reacted when Travis held his uncle hostage? We’d be even more vulnerable with children.”
Cally laid her hand silently on Avon’s arm for a long moment, then gave him a quick, sad smile and walked out. Avon watched her go, wondering if she’d sensed … but of course there was nothing for her to sense. Nothing at all.
+++++
The journey to Destiny seemed to take forever, but at last it was over and they were orbiting the planet. Avon hadn’t seen much of Teyet during that time; she had apparently gone out of her way to stay out of sight. The one time they had met by accident on the flight deck, she’d turned bright red, then stammered an excuse to leave her conversation with Jenna before fleeing.
Jenna had given him a wry look and said with unexpected candour, “I’ll be glad when she’s gone and we can get back to normal.”
“Yes,” Avon had replied. Teyet had seemed more embarrassed than angry, which Avon thought was a distinct improvement. At least she hadn’t looked like she was about to attack either him or Orac again. But just because she couldn’t do it in his presence didn’t mean she wasn’t plotting something in his absence, and he’d continued to keep the computer under his watchful eye at all times. He hadn’t got back to the brain wave project, though, and once or twice, he found himself wondering if he ever would.
Now they were getting ready to teleport Blake and Teyet down to the surface, and the others had gathered in the teleport section to say good-bye. Blake had even invited Avon to come, perhaps hoping for a last-minute reconciliation, but Avon had refused, stating that he preferred to wait on the flight deck. He sat on the couch next to Orac’s table, his arms folded across his chest, and silently willed the process to go faster so that they could get back on route to Star One and the Federation computer.
Cally and Vila came back together and sat down across from Avon. After a moment of silence, Cally jogged Vila’s arm. “What did Teyet tell you to say to Avon?”
Vila looked up, his eyes eager, but his manner hesitant.
“I can guess it wasn’t an apology,” Avon replied, but his curiosity was piqued.
“I can leave if it was a personal message,” Cally volunteered. Avon almost wished she would, but now Jenna had joined them on the flight deck, too, looking as curious as he felt.
“Oh, it wasn’t really personal,” Vila replied. “She just said to tell you that she was seriously thinking about my suggestion.”
“Really.” Avon refused to ask what the suggestion was.
“Yes, we all heard that part,” said Jenna, coming up to stand behind them, “but what did you suggest, Vila?”
“Come on, Vila,” Cally put in. “You made her smile – I’d like to know what you said.”
Vila stood up suddenly. “Anybody for a drink?”
“Vila!” the two women exclaimed simultaneously, and Vila scuttled closer to Jenna as though for protection. His eyes were still gleaming, though, and Avon could tell he really wanted to blurt it all out.
“All right.” Vila finally felt safe enough to speak. “I told her she should forget the abortion. If she really wanted to annoy Avon, she should have the baby and name it after me.”
Jenna and Cally both burst out laughing, and even Vila grinned, despite continuing to watch Avon closely for any signs of an impending attack. Avon stood up, just for the satisfaction of watching the other man take a nervous step back. But as he walked around the other way to get to his station, he smiled, too.
Because sometimes there were situations in which he could either laugh or cry, and Avon never cried.
The End
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