Blood Spatter
The blood spatter made a strange pattern. I dipped the cloth into the water and smeared the dots into a purple swirl.
“Hi, dear!”
I came out of the bedroom to see my husband coming in from driving the boys to early morning seminary and then to school. As he went to hang up his jacket, I cried, “Careful! Dead Snatcher!”
He froze in midstep and looked down at the mangled body. “Not another one!”
“Yes, another one. It chewed through the screen on the bedroom window, and came at me while I was getting dressed!” I shuddered at the memory. Why do things seem even more threatening when you’re naked?
“Are we going to have to find another hiding place?” my husband asked, side-stepping the little corpse.
“I wouldn’t know where else,” I said with an annoyed sigh. “They seem to know exactly where to go, every time! If you ask me, there’s only one answer!”
“We get rid of the stuff --again?” my husband guessed, and I nodded. “You take that thing out and put it in the garbage. I’ll get everything ready.”
While my husband took the dead Snatcher away, I pulled the plastic bags from their hiding place in the back of the closet and arranged them on the dining room table. One of them had already been chewed open, but I’d caught the interdimensional rodent right before it had been able to get at the contents.
When my husband came back inside, he said, “I think that one was a female. They must be getting desperate.”
“So am I,” I replied. “I’m going to have to keep some kind of weapon in the bedroom from now on. I can’t keep using old Relief Society manuals to bash them to death. But for now …”
We were halfway through the stash when my husband stopped suddenly, his face lit up with delight. “I’ve got it! The perfect hiding place! You know that whole-wheat bread with all the different seeds that you love to bake?”
I looked at him suspiciously, as he had never showed anything approaching enthusiasm for my bread before.
“We hollow out a loaf or two, then hide all the Halloween candy in there! Nothing will be able to get through bread that healthy!”
One minute later, there was another strange pattern of blood spatter in our house, but this one was red.
The End
written 3 October 2012
“Hi, dear!”
I came out of the bedroom to see my husband coming in from driving the boys to early morning seminary and then to school. As he went to hang up his jacket, I cried, “Careful! Dead Snatcher!”
He froze in midstep and looked down at the mangled body. “Not another one!”
“Yes, another one. It chewed through the screen on the bedroom window, and came at me while I was getting dressed!” I shuddered at the memory. Why do things seem even more threatening when you’re naked?
“Are we going to have to find another hiding place?” my husband asked, side-stepping the little corpse.
“I wouldn’t know where else,” I said with an annoyed sigh. “They seem to know exactly where to go, every time! If you ask me, there’s only one answer!”
“We get rid of the stuff --again?” my husband guessed, and I nodded. “You take that thing out and put it in the garbage. I’ll get everything ready.”
While my husband took the dead Snatcher away, I pulled the plastic bags from their hiding place in the back of the closet and arranged them on the dining room table. One of them had already been chewed open, but I’d caught the interdimensional rodent right before it had been able to get at the contents.
When my husband came back inside, he said, “I think that one was a female. They must be getting desperate.”
“So am I,” I replied. “I’m going to have to keep some kind of weapon in the bedroom from now on. I can’t keep using old Relief Society manuals to bash them to death. But for now …”
We were halfway through the stash when my husband stopped suddenly, his face lit up with delight. “I’ve got it! The perfect hiding place! You know that whole-wheat bread with all the different seeds that you love to bake?”
I looked at him suspiciously, as he had never showed anything approaching enthusiasm for my bread before.
“We hollow out a loaf or two, then hide all the Halloween candy in there! Nothing will be able to get through bread that healthy!”
One minute later, there was another strange pattern of blood spatter in our house, but this one was red.
The End
written 3 October 2012