Second Childhood
Part 14
27-28 November 2011
Spencer got back to Hotch’s very late on Saturday evening, but was still awake enough to see that Hotch and Jack had brought a Christmas tree and decorated it while he’d been in Las Vegas. Hotch was apologetic about them not waiting for Spencer, since they hadn’t known he’d be back so soon, but Spencer waved it off. He didn’t really care about Christmas trees and never put one up in his apartment. The holiday usually just meant a quiet day off and a phone call to his mother. Anyway, Hotch and Jack needed time together without him.
On Sunday evening at supper time, Spencer took a bite of meat and stopped suddenly in mid-chew. Fighting the temptation to spit everything back onto his plate, he put his fingers in his mouth and felt around.
“Spencer, everything all right?” Hotch asked.
“My tooth came out!” Spencer said, holding it up as evidence, then laying it on the table next to his plate. He’d throw it away after supper.
“Cool!” Jack exclaimed. “That means the Tooth Fairy will come pick it up and give you some money!”
“The Tooth Fairy?” Spencer looked at him in surprise. Surely Jack didn’t still believe?
Jack, however, thought he was expressing ignorance. “Haven’t you ever heard of the Tooth Fairy, Spencer? You put your tooth under your pillow at night and the Tooth Fairy takes it away and leaves you some money for it. My first tooth fell out while I had the chicken pox, and I got seventy five cents for it!”
Glancing over to Hotch, who nodded seriously, Spencer remembered a certain day he’d had in kindergarten twenty five years earlier. After having seen a girl hold up a fifty cent piece for Show and Tell and explain how the Tooth Fairy had left it in exchange for her tooth, Spencer had snuck into the school library and done some research, discovering that the Tooth Fairy was only a legend. Any money that appeared under pillows in the night was put there by parents. One boy in particular had not been happy to hear Spencer’s eager explanation and had hit him so hard that he’d knocked one of Spencer’s teeth out. Fortunately, it had been a wiggly one that had almost been ready to come out anyway, so it had only bled a little bit.
“Paul tried to build a Tooth Fairy catcher out of Legos and a mouse trap,” Jack went on. “But the Tooth Fairy just flew right over it, and when he woke up the next morning, the money was under his pillow, the tooth was gone, and the trap was still set!”
Spencer didn’t know what to say to that, and wondered fleetingly what kind of Unsub Paul would grow up to become.
Hotch said, “I’m sure the Tooth Fairy is much too intelligent to get caught in traps, and it seems like a mean thing to do to somebody who is willing to give you money for something you don’t need anymore.”
“I think I’m getting another loose tooth,” Jack said, opening his mouth to show them as he poked at his lower teeth with his tongue. “And wouldn’t it be cool to see the Tooth Fairy? See if it’s a boy or a girl fairy, see what colour its wings are, see how big it is?”
“Getting caught in a trap would hurt the Tooth Fairy, so it might not want to leave you any money, and it definitely wouldn’t come back another time,” Hotch told him.
“Well … do you think the Tooth Fairy would stay overnight if I built a little guest room out of Legos for it?” Jack asked. “I could get a pillow for it to lay on, put out some cookies for it to eat while it’s waiting for us to wake up …”
“No, I think the Tooth Fairy has lots of kids to visit every night, and wouldn’t get its work done if it stayed here,” Hotch replied. “You don’t want the Tooth Fairy to get a reprimand from its boss, do you?”
“I guess not,” Jack said, disappointed. “But it would still be cool to meet one.”
“How about if you draw a picture of the Tooth Fairy after supper?” Hotch suggested. “And think about what it does with all the teeth it collects?”
“Okay,” Jack agreed, and then he turned to Spencer. “But you’re putting your tooth under your pillow, right? And then we can go to the store on Saturday and you can spend your tooth money however you want!”
“Yeah,” Spencer said.
That night, Spencer woke up after a dream that included his mother. He was crying, but apparently softly enough that neither Jack nor Hotch had noticed. Just in case they did, though, Spencer bunched the covers up around his mouth to muffle the sound, and tried to stop as soon as possible. Eventually, he managed, but although he told himself he should be proud of having taken care of the nightmare by himself, it wasn’t as nice as having someone else there to hold him and say all the right things. He also didn’t feel safe enough to want to go to sleep again right away. What if the dream came back?
Out of sheer curiosity, Spencer looked under his pillow where Jack had insisted he deposit his tooth, and found three quarters there instead. Hotch must have come in earlier while he was still asleep. Spencer left the money there for Jack to see in the morning, and looked around for something else to take his mind off bad dreams. They’d gone to the library that afternoon, and he hadn’t read all his books yet, so he got out of bed and walked quietly over to where they were stacked on his chest of drawers.
He was still reading when he heard Hotch’s alarm go off. Guiltily, he closed the book and hid it under the covers, then took off his glasses and hid them, too. Laying his head on the pillow, he closed his eyes and tried to look as though he were asleep. When Hotch came in and turned on the overhead light, however, he couldn’t help opening his eyes.
“You’re up early,” Hotch said, reaching up to shake Jack. “Did the Tooth Fairy wake you up?”
“The Tooth Fairy?” Jack shot upright, then clambered over the guardrail, jumping straight to the floor. “How much money did you get, Spencer?”
Spencer lifted the pillow away to reveal the coins.
“Cool!” Jack cheered. “What are you going to buy?”
“I don’t know,” Spencer said, yawning.
“If you buy taffy, it might pull out more teeth while you’re chewing,” Jack suggested. “Dad, can we buy taffy on Saturday?”
“Taffy tastes good, but it sticks to my teeth,” Spencer said as he got up.
“Well, duh, that’s why we should get some! If it sticks hard enough, it can pull your teeth right out!” Jack explained enthusiastically. “Then you can get more money!”
Spencer yawned again and saw that Hotch was giving him a concerned look. In an attempt to belay suspicion, he smiled and said, “Thank you, Tooth Fairy.”
Jack said, “That was too quiet, Spencer, I don’t think the Tooth Fairy could hear you. Maybe you should shout! Maybe we can shout together!”
He opened his mouth wide, expecting Spencer to join in, but Hotch was faster. “I’m sure the Tooth Fairy heard it in the same way that it hears whenever a tooth is under your pillow, and shouting is not necessary.”
Breakfast helped revive Spencer somewhat, but he had to pinch himself twice in the car to keep from falling asleep on the way to work. Why hadn’t he thought about the unfortunate side effects of staying up all right reading to keep the nightmare from coming back? As he sat down at his desk and opened the first file, he wiggled his feet to keep himself awake …
“Spencer!”
Something was jostling his shoulder. Spencer lifted his head from his desk and looked groggily around. Hotch was standing there, ready to shake him again, and regarding him with a concerned expression. Was it time to go home already? Had he been out the entire day? He saw Ally standing nearby, watching him with the same concerned expression, and quickly checked his watch. No, it was only break time, but that still meant he’d slept half the morning! Never mind the Tooth Fairy getting a reprimand from its boss, Spencer would definitely be getting one from his!
“My office, Spencer,” Hotch said.
Spencer followed him up the stairs, keeping his head down, and they went into Hotch’s office.
Hotch closed the door and sat down on the couch. After a moment, Spencer climbed up next to him, still staring down at his legs.
“What’s going on, Spencer?” he asked.
Spencer sighed. “I woke up early and I started reading and I guess I lost track of time. I’m sorry.”
“Why did you wake up early?”
“I, um, had a nightmare.”
“You’ve had nightmares before, and you’ve always gone back to sleep afterwards. What was different about this one?”
“Um … it was about my mom. Well, kind of.”
“Do you want a hug while you talk about it?”
“Yeah.”
Hotch settled him in his lap and Spencer leaned against his shoulder, enjoying the feeling of warm, strong arms giving him a sense of safety and security. “So, um, I didn’t tell you what happened when I visited my mom.”
“It must have been bad or you wouldn’t have come home early,” Hotch said. “I didn’t ask because Jack was always there, but you can tell me about it now, if you want.”
“I really thought I could convince her,” Spencer said slowly. “I thought she would just look at me and know … but she didn’t. She didn’t even want to recognise me. She said I was a robot or a life model decoy that the government wanted to use to spy on her – she said she’d poke my cameras out.”
“Did she attack you?” Hotch sounded concerned.
“Not really. Sort of. They caught her before – before she could –“ Spencer stopped. “Last night I dreamed I really was a robot, and I really was sent to spy on her, but because she didn’t accept me, I was useless. They wanted to send me away because I couldn’t do my job, and I’d be all alone in the robot warehouse. And I was so sad that I woke up.”
He didn’t mention the crying, but he also realised he’d looked away involuntarily at the end of his sentence. Hotch would be able to tell he’d left something out.
“I didn’t hear you, or I would have come in,” Hotch said. “If that happens again, you can come to me, though.”
“I didn’t want you to come in,” Spencer admitted. “I was trying to be quiet and handle it by myself, but I was scared the dream would come back, so I started reading.”
“Spencer … “ Hotch said, then stopped. After a long moment, he said, “I appreciate that you were trying to deal with it by yourself. But I also think there’s a part of you that needs some outside help. I’d appreciate it if you’d let me help you, if you’d let me come in and reassure you that nobody is going to abandon you, especially not me.”
“Okay,” Spencer said, surprising himself with the speed at which he’d answered. Hotch was right, there was a part of him that really, really needed that reassurance. Maybe part of the reason he’d stayed awake in the night was because he’d been trying to get by without a hug and soft, soothing words of comfort.
“I know I’m not your mother,” Hotch said after a long moment. “But I’m here for you, Spencer. Don’t ever think you’re inconvenient or a burden to me. As the song says, I’m happy to be stuck with you.”
“What song?” Spencer asked, and when Hotch looked disbelievingly at him, he said, “Sorry, never mind. But thanks. I’m happy to be stuck with you, too.”
Part 15
Part 13
Return to Criminal Minds Page
Spencer got back to Hotch’s very late on Saturday evening, but was still awake enough to see that Hotch and Jack had brought a Christmas tree and decorated it while he’d been in Las Vegas. Hotch was apologetic about them not waiting for Spencer, since they hadn’t known he’d be back so soon, but Spencer waved it off. He didn’t really care about Christmas trees and never put one up in his apartment. The holiday usually just meant a quiet day off and a phone call to his mother. Anyway, Hotch and Jack needed time together without him.
On Sunday evening at supper time, Spencer took a bite of meat and stopped suddenly in mid-chew. Fighting the temptation to spit everything back onto his plate, he put his fingers in his mouth and felt around.
“Spencer, everything all right?” Hotch asked.
“My tooth came out!” Spencer said, holding it up as evidence, then laying it on the table next to his plate. He’d throw it away after supper.
“Cool!” Jack exclaimed. “That means the Tooth Fairy will come pick it up and give you some money!”
“The Tooth Fairy?” Spencer looked at him in surprise. Surely Jack didn’t still believe?
Jack, however, thought he was expressing ignorance. “Haven’t you ever heard of the Tooth Fairy, Spencer? You put your tooth under your pillow at night and the Tooth Fairy takes it away and leaves you some money for it. My first tooth fell out while I had the chicken pox, and I got seventy five cents for it!”
Glancing over to Hotch, who nodded seriously, Spencer remembered a certain day he’d had in kindergarten twenty five years earlier. After having seen a girl hold up a fifty cent piece for Show and Tell and explain how the Tooth Fairy had left it in exchange for her tooth, Spencer had snuck into the school library and done some research, discovering that the Tooth Fairy was only a legend. Any money that appeared under pillows in the night was put there by parents. One boy in particular had not been happy to hear Spencer’s eager explanation and had hit him so hard that he’d knocked one of Spencer’s teeth out. Fortunately, it had been a wiggly one that had almost been ready to come out anyway, so it had only bled a little bit.
“Paul tried to build a Tooth Fairy catcher out of Legos and a mouse trap,” Jack went on. “But the Tooth Fairy just flew right over it, and when he woke up the next morning, the money was under his pillow, the tooth was gone, and the trap was still set!”
Spencer didn’t know what to say to that, and wondered fleetingly what kind of Unsub Paul would grow up to become.
Hotch said, “I’m sure the Tooth Fairy is much too intelligent to get caught in traps, and it seems like a mean thing to do to somebody who is willing to give you money for something you don’t need anymore.”
“I think I’m getting another loose tooth,” Jack said, opening his mouth to show them as he poked at his lower teeth with his tongue. “And wouldn’t it be cool to see the Tooth Fairy? See if it’s a boy or a girl fairy, see what colour its wings are, see how big it is?”
“Getting caught in a trap would hurt the Tooth Fairy, so it might not want to leave you any money, and it definitely wouldn’t come back another time,” Hotch told him.
“Well … do you think the Tooth Fairy would stay overnight if I built a little guest room out of Legos for it?” Jack asked. “I could get a pillow for it to lay on, put out some cookies for it to eat while it’s waiting for us to wake up …”
“No, I think the Tooth Fairy has lots of kids to visit every night, and wouldn’t get its work done if it stayed here,” Hotch replied. “You don’t want the Tooth Fairy to get a reprimand from its boss, do you?”
“I guess not,” Jack said, disappointed. “But it would still be cool to meet one.”
“How about if you draw a picture of the Tooth Fairy after supper?” Hotch suggested. “And think about what it does with all the teeth it collects?”
“Okay,” Jack agreed, and then he turned to Spencer. “But you’re putting your tooth under your pillow, right? And then we can go to the store on Saturday and you can spend your tooth money however you want!”
“Yeah,” Spencer said.
That night, Spencer woke up after a dream that included his mother. He was crying, but apparently softly enough that neither Jack nor Hotch had noticed. Just in case they did, though, Spencer bunched the covers up around his mouth to muffle the sound, and tried to stop as soon as possible. Eventually, he managed, but although he told himself he should be proud of having taken care of the nightmare by himself, it wasn’t as nice as having someone else there to hold him and say all the right things. He also didn’t feel safe enough to want to go to sleep again right away. What if the dream came back?
Out of sheer curiosity, Spencer looked under his pillow where Jack had insisted he deposit his tooth, and found three quarters there instead. Hotch must have come in earlier while he was still asleep. Spencer left the money there for Jack to see in the morning, and looked around for something else to take his mind off bad dreams. They’d gone to the library that afternoon, and he hadn’t read all his books yet, so he got out of bed and walked quietly over to where they were stacked on his chest of drawers.
He was still reading when he heard Hotch’s alarm go off. Guiltily, he closed the book and hid it under the covers, then took off his glasses and hid them, too. Laying his head on the pillow, he closed his eyes and tried to look as though he were asleep. When Hotch came in and turned on the overhead light, however, he couldn’t help opening his eyes.
“You’re up early,” Hotch said, reaching up to shake Jack. “Did the Tooth Fairy wake you up?”
“The Tooth Fairy?” Jack shot upright, then clambered over the guardrail, jumping straight to the floor. “How much money did you get, Spencer?”
Spencer lifted the pillow away to reveal the coins.
“Cool!” Jack cheered. “What are you going to buy?”
“I don’t know,” Spencer said, yawning.
“If you buy taffy, it might pull out more teeth while you’re chewing,” Jack suggested. “Dad, can we buy taffy on Saturday?”
“Taffy tastes good, but it sticks to my teeth,” Spencer said as he got up.
“Well, duh, that’s why we should get some! If it sticks hard enough, it can pull your teeth right out!” Jack explained enthusiastically. “Then you can get more money!”
Spencer yawned again and saw that Hotch was giving him a concerned look. In an attempt to belay suspicion, he smiled and said, “Thank you, Tooth Fairy.”
Jack said, “That was too quiet, Spencer, I don’t think the Tooth Fairy could hear you. Maybe you should shout! Maybe we can shout together!”
He opened his mouth wide, expecting Spencer to join in, but Hotch was faster. “I’m sure the Tooth Fairy heard it in the same way that it hears whenever a tooth is under your pillow, and shouting is not necessary.”
Breakfast helped revive Spencer somewhat, but he had to pinch himself twice in the car to keep from falling asleep on the way to work. Why hadn’t he thought about the unfortunate side effects of staying up all right reading to keep the nightmare from coming back? As he sat down at his desk and opened the first file, he wiggled his feet to keep himself awake …
“Spencer!”
Something was jostling his shoulder. Spencer lifted his head from his desk and looked groggily around. Hotch was standing there, ready to shake him again, and regarding him with a concerned expression. Was it time to go home already? Had he been out the entire day? He saw Ally standing nearby, watching him with the same concerned expression, and quickly checked his watch. No, it was only break time, but that still meant he’d slept half the morning! Never mind the Tooth Fairy getting a reprimand from its boss, Spencer would definitely be getting one from his!
“My office, Spencer,” Hotch said.
Spencer followed him up the stairs, keeping his head down, and they went into Hotch’s office.
Hotch closed the door and sat down on the couch. After a moment, Spencer climbed up next to him, still staring down at his legs.
“What’s going on, Spencer?” he asked.
Spencer sighed. “I woke up early and I started reading and I guess I lost track of time. I’m sorry.”
“Why did you wake up early?”
“I, um, had a nightmare.”
“You’ve had nightmares before, and you’ve always gone back to sleep afterwards. What was different about this one?”
“Um … it was about my mom. Well, kind of.”
“Do you want a hug while you talk about it?”
“Yeah.”
Hotch settled him in his lap and Spencer leaned against his shoulder, enjoying the feeling of warm, strong arms giving him a sense of safety and security. “So, um, I didn’t tell you what happened when I visited my mom.”
“It must have been bad or you wouldn’t have come home early,” Hotch said. “I didn’t ask because Jack was always there, but you can tell me about it now, if you want.”
“I really thought I could convince her,” Spencer said slowly. “I thought she would just look at me and know … but she didn’t. She didn’t even want to recognise me. She said I was a robot or a life model decoy that the government wanted to use to spy on her – she said she’d poke my cameras out.”
“Did she attack you?” Hotch sounded concerned.
“Not really. Sort of. They caught her before – before she could –“ Spencer stopped. “Last night I dreamed I really was a robot, and I really was sent to spy on her, but because she didn’t accept me, I was useless. They wanted to send me away because I couldn’t do my job, and I’d be all alone in the robot warehouse. And I was so sad that I woke up.”
He didn’t mention the crying, but he also realised he’d looked away involuntarily at the end of his sentence. Hotch would be able to tell he’d left something out.
“I didn’t hear you, or I would have come in,” Hotch said. “If that happens again, you can come to me, though.”
“I didn’t want you to come in,” Spencer admitted. “I was trying to be quiet and handle it by myself, but I was scared the dream would come back, so I started reading.”
“Spencer … “ Hotch said, then stopped. After a long moment, he said, “I appreciate that you were trying to deal with it by yourself. But I also think there’s a part of you that needs some outside help. I’d appreciate it if you’d let me help you, if you’d let me come in and reassure you that nobody is going to abandon you, especially not me.”
“Okay,” Spencer said, surprising himself with the speed at which he’d answered. Hotch was right, there was a part of him that really, really needed that reassurance. Maybe part of the reason he’d stayed awake in the night was because he’d been trying to get by without a hug and soft, soothing words of comfort.
“I know I’m not your mother,” Hotch said after a long moment. “But I’m here for you, Spencer. Don’t ever think you’re inconvenient or a burden to me. As the song says, I’m happy to be stuck with you.”
“What song?” Spencer asked, and when Hotch looked disbelievingly at him, he said, “Sorry, never mind. But thanks. I’m happy to be stuck with you, too.”
Part 15
Part 13
Return to Criminal Minds Page