Second Childhood
Part 12
“Spence? Spencer, it’s okay, it was just a dream.”
“Hotch!” Spencer screamed, and then JJ’s arms were going around him, pulling him close. Sobbing, he fought back until she let go. “You killed him! You killed Hotch!”
“It was a dream, Spencer,” JJ insisted. “Hotch is fine. He’s alive and well. You were just dreaming.”
”No, he’s dead! I saw his body! You killed him!”
JJ took a slightly firmer tone and stated, “Spencer, Hotch is not dead and I did not kill him. You were dreaming.”
Spencer stopped screaming, but continued to cry. His heart was pounding. It had been so real, and he’d been so afraid and so devastated. “Hotch …”
“Call him up, cherie!” came a male voice with a New Orleans drawl from the doorway. “Let him talk to Hotch, see for himself that he’s all right.”
Spencer looked up to see Will standing there in the light of the hall, holding out a cellphone. JJ got up to take it, then dialled and gave the phone to Spencer. After three rings, a familiar voice croaked, “Hotchner.”
“Hotch!” Spencer wailed. “You’re not dead!”
“No, buddy, I’m not dead,” Hotch replied. “Did you have a bad dream?”
“I dreamed that – that JJ killed you! And she was trying -- trying to lie to me that she hadn’t, but I saw you – I saw your dead body!”
“That must have been a pretty bad nightmare,” Hotch said. “But I’m alive, JJ did not kill me, and nobody is lying to you. Okay?”
“And I couldn’t – couldn’t go home with you because – because you were dead! And I couldn’t go home – couldn’t go home with JJ because – because she killed you! And I couldn’t go home – couldn’t go home with Rossi or Morgan because – because they have dogs! And I couldn’t go home with Emily because – because of her foot! And I couldn’t go home with Garcia because of Kevin! And I couldn’t go to Gideon because he was gone! And I couldn’t even go live with the black and white rabbit because Henry had it!”
After a moment, Hotch said, “I’ll bet you felt all alone, like everybody had abandoned you.”
“Uh huh.” Now that he had talked it all out, Spencer felt the panic start to ebb and his sobs begin to subside.
“But I’m here, Spencer. I’m not dead. JJ did not kill me. And you couldn’t go live with a rabbit anyway, whatever that was all about.”
“That was just part of the dream,” Spencer said, sniffing. Now that he’d stopped crying and the panic was mostly gone, he was starting to feel distinctly sheepish.
“And if there really was nobody else to take care of you, I’ll bet Strauss would take you for a night or two.”
Spencer managed a shaky laugh. “Hotch, you’re supposed to be making me feel better, not giving me more nightmares.”
The amusement was audible in Hotch’s voice as he asked, “Do you feel better now?”
“Yeah. I’m okay.” Spencer used his fingers to wipe the tears from his cheeks.
“Do you think you could let JJ give you a hug from me?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m sorry I woke you up. But you can blame Will, he’s the one who actually called you.”
“Thanks!” Will exclaimed in the background.
“I would have done the same thing,” Hotch said. “Now let JJ hug you, and then go back to sleep, and have good dreams about books or physics magic or … something.”
Spencer smiled. “Okay. Thanks, Hotch. Good night.”
“Good night, Spencer.”
Spencer ended the call and returned the phone. “Thanks, Will. I’m really sorry I woke you guys up. Um, you can go back to bed now. I’ll be all right.”
“Do you want a hug?” JJ asked.
Spencer was just about to say yes when Henry made a soft snuffling sound in his sleep. Afraid that he would wake up and make a grab for his mom, Spencer hastily said, “No, that’s okay.”
“Here, Spencer, come with me,” JJ said, extending her hand. Spencer got out of the sleeping bag on his own and followed her across the hall to their bedroom, but hesitated at the door.
“No offence, cherie, but I don’t want him sleeping in our bed,” Will said.
“I don’t want that, either. That’d be too weird,” Spencer agreed.
“I just want to have a little talk with you, Spencer, where we won’t wake Henry up, and then you can go back, okay?”
“Not like you can wake me up anymore than you already did,” Will said, going around to the opposite side.
“I’m sorry!” Spencer exclaimed. “I didn’t mean to have a nightmare. I’ll try not to, from now on, and if I do, I’ll try not to make noise.”
“Oh, honey, that’s not what I wanted to talk about.” JJ sat down on the edge of the mattress, then patted the space next to her. “Come here.”
Spencer climbed warily up onto the bed, wondering what she wanted to discuss.
“I heard what Hotch told you,” she said. “I should give you a hug from him. And I know why you said you didn’t want one. Henry’s been really possessive lately, and you’re too nice to push back.”
“You’re his mother, you’re not mine,” Spencer said.
“Yes, but sometimes you need hugs, and sometimes there’s nobody around except me who can give them to you. So, now that we’re undisturbed, I want to give you that hug from Hotch, and then another one from me, okay? And you can hug me as long as you want to, because Henry’s not here to push you away. Okay?”
“Okay.” Spencer let her settle him in her lap, and hugged back as she put her arms around him. “Thanks, JJ.”
+++++
31 October 2011
Monday was Halloween. Henry had already got his costume the week before, and pulled it on before breakfast because he was supposed to wear it to daycare for the planned Halloween party there. Spencer was not surprised to see it represented one of the Sword-Swinging Cats, and asked politely, “Which Cat are you?”
“Tobias Itchpaw!” Henry announced, and Spencer was just glad he wasn’t drinking anything at that moment. Thankfully, the flash of dread at that name passed almost as quickly as it had come.
“Twitchpaw,” he corrected.
“I’m afraid Henry got it mixed up the first time he tried to say it, and because we laughed, he’s been calling him Tobias Itchpaw ever since,” JJ explained.
Spencer forced a smile. He tried not to wish that Henry had got the Tobias part mixed up instead, but reminded himself that it was only because he was a child that the name was affecting him this badly. Once he got back to his regular age, it wouldn’t bother him so much.
“What kind of costume do you think you’d like for when you go out trick-or-treating to-night?” Will asked.
“We’re going trick-or-treating?” Spencer felt silly for not having realised it before. This year, he wouldn’t be sitting in his apartment with a small bowl of candy in case somebody rang his bell. Of course JJ would be taking Henry out, even if Will had to work, and of course Spencer would have to go with them. Well, it wouldn’t be too bad. He liked candy, too.
“We could buy you a costume quickly on the way home from work,” JJ added. “You could be one of the other Cats. They’re really popular this year.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he said. “I always wanted to be Mr Spock or Doctor Who, but I don’t think they have costumes like that for kids.”
“Definitely not Mr Spock,” Will said. “Saw a little kind of lab coat, though.”
Spencer looked at him in dismay. “Doctor Who doesn’t wear a lab coat!”
“Will’s never seen Doctor Who,” JJ explained. “He’s not really into science fiction.”
“Saw plenty of policeman costumes if you want to be somebody cool,” Will teased.
“I could just wear my badge and tell everybody I’m an FBI profiler,” Spencer said. “That’s cooler.”
JJ laughed and shot Will a fond look. “He’s got you there.”
+++++
Hotch entered the bullpen shortly after they did, and JJ caught his eye. “Happy Halloween, Hotch. Are you taking Jack out trick-or-treating?”
“No, and Jack’s pretty upset about it. He keeps claiming he’s not that sick.” Hotch smiled. “He even got a pair of barbecue tongs that he said he could use to get the candy so he wouldn’t get close enough to breathe on anybody.”
JJ and Spencer both laughed, and JJ said, “When he’s well enough, why don’t you bring him over to our place for a catch-up Halloween celebration? The boys can wear their costumes and we can play some games, watch a Halloween movie or something?”
“That’s a good idea, thanks. What about you, Spencer? Are you dressing up and going trick-or-treating with Henry?”
“Yeah. JJ’s taking me out after work to buy a costume and then we’re going around the neighbourhood.”
“What kind of costume are you thinking of? Jack was begging to be Cheerwell Stumptail, but he got sick before we could buy anything for him.”
“I don’t know, I haven’t decided yet. I’ll just see what’s available.”
But when they got to the store, there wasn’t much choice. Spencer glanced at the Tinkerbell costume and the generic princess costume and sighed.
“I guess I’ll be an FBI profiler,” Spencer said. “My FBI jacket would have been a nice touch, but I left it at Hotch’s.”
“You can wear mine,” JJ offered.
“Oh, yeah, that’s a good idea, thanks.”
At home, with Henry waiting impatiently, he pulled on JJ’s jacket, which thankfully was not quite as long as his, let her roll up the sleeves so he could get his hands out, then attached his badge to the front. JJ got a pillowcase for each of them, and off they went, starting with the neighbours in the house next door. There were lots of other families out at the same time, patient-looking parents escorting their brightly costumed children up and down the streets. Along with the Cats, who apparently greeted each other with happy cries of “Salute, Sword-Swingers!” there were also an awful lot of children wearing Hogwarts robes, pointing wands and yelling “Expelliarmus!” and, once, even “Avada Kedavra!”
Spencer answered that one by pointing his fingers like a gun and shouting, “Freeze, FBI!” which made JJ giggle.
But eventually JJ said, “It’s time to go home now.”
Spencer looked around. “But we haven’t finished the street yet.”
“It’s six thirty and Henry’s getting over-excited. He needs a few minutes to unwind before bed, and I think you do, too,” JJ explained.
“But the street only has two more houses on this side. Can’t we do those two at least?”
“More tricker treat!” Henry demanded.
JJ sighed. “Okay, those two, and nothing else. After the last one there, we are going home.”
The first of the two houses unfortunately had a poster on it that a sex offender lived there, and children were not allowed to trick or treat. And at first it seemed that the second house also had a similar poster on the door, but as they got closer, Spencer could see that it advertised something completely different.
“All Hallows Read!” he announced. “Look, a picture of Frankenstein’s Monster! Do you think they’ll hand out copies of Frankenstein?”
“I wouldn’t think so,” JJ said. “It’s probably just a decoration.”
They rang the bell and when the door opened, Spencer and Henry bellowed “Trick or treat!” The man in the doorway said, “Well, would you like candy or a book?”
“A book!” Spencer exclaimed. Henry, of course, wanted, “Candy!”
“Finally, somebody who wants a book!” the man exclaimed. “How about … this one?”
He offered Spencer a red book with a drawing of a boy on the front. “It’s called Jim, Who Ran Away from His Nurse and Was Eaten by a Lion.”
Spencer looked at the book and said, “It just says “A Cautionary Tale, Jim, and then here it says Warning, contains a dangerous beast and a miserable end.”
“Oh, you can read already?”
“Yes, I can read already. What other books do you have on offer?” Spencer looked past the man, to a small pile of books on a chair by the door. “Do you have the original Frankenstein? I haven’t read that one yet.”
The man’s smile turned into a slightly bewildered expression and he said, “No, funnily enough, there’s not much demand for Mary Shelley among the kids who come to my door for treats. Or among the adults, either, come to think of it. But I do have a book of nefarious silliness called Hallowilloween if you’d prefer some poetry.”
“Nefarious silliness?” Spencer repeated, and the man reached back for the next book on the pile. It was a black book with a painting of an orange cat’s head on the front, broadly grinning to show many sharply pointed teeth.
“Poems might be fun,” Spencer mused. “I haven’t read much poetry. Okay, I’ll take that one. Thank you!”
He took it and stuffed it into his pillowcase to read later.
“You’re very welcome, Mister FBI Agent. Did your mommy help you get that badge? Nice touch.” Without waiting for an answer, the man looked over at Henry. “And you said you wanted candy?”
“Candy!” Henry demanded.
The man pulled out a bowl of small cartons of Milk Duds and let Henry take one, then offered it to Spencer, who said, “No, thank you, I already have the book.”
“You can have both,” the man said.
“Both books?” Spencer could hardly believe his luck, and only then realised the man had probably meant both a book and candy.
“Sure, why not? Looks like they’re going to a good home.” The man handed over the first book as well.
“Oh, yes,” JJ put in. “This boy just loves books.”
“Thank you so much!” Spencer exclaimed again. JJ nudged Henry and prompted, “What do we say?”
“Fank you!” Henry said.
“Hope you like them. Come back next year for more. Happy Halloween!” The man shut the door.
Spencer was so excited about the books, even though they were for children, that he went down one of the porch steps, then jumped over all the others to land on the walkway. He even added a few extra jumps just for good measure. “I got books for Halloween! I didn’t know people gave out books for Halloween! This is so cool!”
“I had no idea that this was a thing,” JJ admitted.
“Do you think there’s anybody else around here who gives away books?” Spencer asked, looking around as they walked and hoping to spot another All Hallows Read poster on a door.
“I don’t think so, and anyway, what did I say? That was the last house and we are going home now,” JJ said.
“Henry, do you want me to read you some of the poems before bed?” Spencer asked.
“No bed,” Henry said. “More tricker treat!”
“Yes bed,” JJ said. “Trick or treat is over for this year.”
“JJ, this was the best Halloween ever!” Spencer exclaimed. “Thanks for taking me!”
“It’s so good to see you happy again, Spencer,” JJ said, smiling. “Thank you for giving me another chance.”
+++++ November 2011
After spending ten days with JJ and Will, Spencer went back to Hotch’s apartment to find that Hotch had bought a second chest of drawers and a bunk bed for Jack’s room. Jack got the top bunk, because he was older, and Spencer found that he did not miss sleeping on the floor or living out of his go-bag at all. Hotch also took him to buy a winter coat and boots, which turned out to be a good idea, because their next case took them to Michigan, where it had already snowed. The autumn season for soccer ended, and snow fell in Virginia as well. When Spencer admitted he’d never been sledding before, because snow was rare in Las Vegas, Hotch took him and Jack to the nearest hill. It was wonderfully fun. But as Thanksgiving approached, Spencer found himself feeling uneasy more and more often, and finally, Hotch noticed.
“What’s up, Spencer?” he asked after they had dropped Jack off at school and were on their way to work.
“Nothing,” he replied. “Why do you ask?”
“You seem a bit distracted lately. And I thought you might have been crying this morning.”
Spencer frowned. He’d tried to hide the fact that he’d woken up with tears in his eyes, but perhaps he hadn’t turned away fast enough when Hotch had come in. Finally, he sighed. “I dreamed last night that the re-aging machine was ready, and I jumped into it, and when I came out, I was old, and I kept getting older, really fast, in seconds instead of minutes, until I got so old that I died, and then I woke up. And I thought, what if I really do die, and I never get to see my mom again?”
“You want to go visit your mom?” Hotch asked.
“Yeah,” Spencer admitted. “I miss her more than I used to when I was older. I’d really like to see her again. Calling her on the phone wouldn’t be the same, but I think I would be able to convince her it’s really me if I could see her in person. She’s always telling me ‘a mother knows’ and ‘mothers feel these things.’”
“You went out to see her last Thanksgiving, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, and the year before that, too, and I was hoping to go again this Thanksgiving as well, but that was before I got de-aged,” Spencer said. “But please don’t think you have to take me. I know Jack’s really looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with you and Jessica and his grandpa.”
“And I can tell you’re not,” Hotch said.
“I’d feel like an intruder. I don’t even know Jessica all that well, and I’ve never met your father-in-law. But I’ll be good and try not to embarrass you.”
Later that morning, however, they were headed out to a case in West Wendover, Nevada.
“If we get back in time for Thanksgiving, where will you celebrate it?” Spencer asked Ally as they sat on the plane.
“With Gabriel and his family,” she replied with compartmentalized calm, then turned the question around. “And you?”
“I’ll be going with Hotch to his in-laws,” he said, trying and failing to match her completely neutral tone.
JJ leaned over. “You can come with us, Spence. Will and I will be taking Henry to my mother.”
“I’d invite you, too, but I promised I’d spend my Thanksgiving with both of my parents, if I’m in town,” Emily put in, though she sounded even less excited about it than Spencer felt about Hotch’s in-laws. “A real family dinner.”
“I’ll be trying to get to Chicago, see my mother and my sisters,” Morgan put in. “You’re welcome to come with me if you want – you’ve met them before.”
“Yeah, as an adult,” Spencer remembered. “But thanks anyway.”
“Kevin and I are celebrating at home,” Garcia said brightly. “No in-laws, no outlaws, just the two of us.”
“It’ll just be the two of us, too,” Rossi put in. “Me and Mudgie.”
They ended up catching the group of Unsubs on the afternoon before Thanksgiving Day. Everybody packed quickly, looking forward to a night flight and an early arrival for the holiday. But as Spencer was finishing zipping his go-bag, there was a knock at the door of his hotel room. He raced over to answer it, sure that it would be Morgan rounding them up for the drive to the airstrip, and was surprised to see Rossi there.
“Hey, kiddo, can I come in?” he asked.
“Sure.” Spencer trotted away from the door, and Rossi followed. “Johnson, the cars are already out front. I just want to talk to Spencer for a minute.”
“I’ll give you the room,” Ally said, pulling her bag over her shoulder and going out. Rossi sat down in one of the chairs, and Spencer climbed up onto the other one.
“So, Spencer, how about we rent a car and drive down to Vegas to visit your mother?” Rossi offered, and Spencer gaped at him for a moment.
“Did Hotch put you up to this?” he finally asked.
“He might have mentioned the situation,” Rossi said. “But I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t want to go.”
“I’d really like to see my mom,” Spencer said. “I miss her so much.”
“Well, then, come on. We can take a few days, you can show me the desert.”
“In those shoes?” Spencer looked down at Rossi’s custom-made footware, and they both smiled.
Rossi made some calls and got them a room in Vegas, then the team dropped them off at the nearest car rental place and they rented the best of what was available. When they stopped for supper, Spencer bit happily into his cheeseburger. “I thought I’d never eat fast food again, what with Ally watching out for me.”
“What does she feed you?”
“Healthy stuff. Weird vegetables like eggplant and kale. Lots of lentils and beans.”
“Beans,” said Rossi slowly, savouring the word. “My Nonna used to make the most delicious pasta e fagioli. My mother made it, too, but hers wasn’t as good as Nonna’s. We had it so often that I thought I’d never want to eat it again … until I’d been in the marines for a week, and then I would have killed for it. I used to dream about it in Vietnam.”
“I never dream about food,” Spencer said. “I dreamed about coffee a few weeks ago, though.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Rossi laughed.
After they got back on the road, it didn’t take long for Spencer to fall asleep, and he only woke up when Rossi got him out of the car seat and made him walk to the elevator. He was vaguely aware of clinging to Rossi’s arm to keep himself standing as they rode up and entered the hotel room, and then he staggered to the nearest bed and lay down on top of the covers.
The next thing he knew, the sun was streaming through one window and he was hungry. Rossi was asleep on his back in the other bed, snoring lightly, so Spencer went over and gave him a little shake. “Rossi!”
Rossi made an unhappy sound and turned away from him. Spencer tried again. “Rossi, can we have breakfast now?”
“G’back t’sleep,” Rossi mumbled.
“But it’s daytime, and I’m hungry.” Almost every day since being de-aged, Spencer had woken up ready and willing to eat. He supposed it was part of “being a growing boy.”
“Room service,” Rossi told him without even opening his eyes.
Sighing, Spencer went around to the other side of the bed where the telephone was, found the laminated sheet of emergency numbers that included room service and picked up the receiver. Then he realized he didn’t know which room they were in, so he went to the door and opened it to see the number on the outside, then came back to the phone.
“Hello, I’d like to order breakfast, please,” he said.
“Sweetie, we don’t let children younger than fourteen order room service, but I’ll be happy to talk to your mommy or daddy,” the woman on the other end told him. “Can you put them on, or are they still asleep?”
“They’re still asleep, but thanks, anyway.” Defeated, Spencer hung up. Sometimes he really hated being this young. A memory came into his mind of Dr Kapoor explaining how his wife had been willing to offer all their money and the house to be twenty nine again. Spencer knew exactly how she felt, even if he was coming from the opposite direction.
Although growing hungrier and hungrier, Spencer managed to keep himself occupied until Rossi woke up on his own and went through his morning routine. Finally, Rossi was ready, but when Spencer mentioned breakfast, Rossi frowned. “Didn’t you get room service?”
“They wouldn’t let me order because I’m not old enough,” Spencer said with a scowl.
“Oh. Sorry, guess I wasn’t thinking. Well, I think I saw a couple of restaurants on our way in, how about you pick the one you want to eat at?”
As they went through the lobby, Spencer saw a rack of brochures advertising various attractions around Las Vegas. Having grown up there, he knew most of them, but then something unfamiliar caught his eye. He let go of Rossi’s hand so that he could get closer and pick up the brochure.
“Rossi, look! The National Atomic Testing Museum! In association with the Smithsonian Institution! This must be new, I’ve never seen it before! Do you think we have time to go, after I’ve seen my mom?”
Rossi looked at the brochure. “It’s probably closed to-day, but we should be able to go to-morrow, if …”
He let his voice trail off until Spencer was looking expectantly at him. “If what, Rossi?”
“If you don’t let go of my hand and run off like that again.”
“It was only three steps!” Spencer protested, but slumped under Rossi’s glare. “Yes, sir.”
“And,” Rossi continued, lowering his voice a little, “if you call me Nonno. Not Rossi, not grandpa, not dad. Nonno.”
“Yes … Nonno,” Spencer said, trying it out. It felt so weird. ‘Grandpa’ would have been weird, too, but slightly less … well … foreign.
“Only for this trip and only when we’re in public, so people don’t get the wrong idea about us,” Rossi clarified. “Don’t call me that back in the office.”
“Okay.” Spencer had no intention of calling him Nonno back at the office, and wondered how little he could manage to use it out in public, too.
Part 13
Part 11
Return to Criminal Minds Page
“Hotch!” Spencer screamed, and then JJ’s arms were going around him, pulling him close. Sobbing, he fought back until she let go. “You killed him! You killed Hotch!”
“It was a dream, Spencer,” JJ insisted. “Hotch is fine. He’s alive and well. You were just dreaming.”
”No, he’s dead! I saw his body! You killed him!”
JJ took a slightly firmer tone and stated, “Spencer, Hotch is not dead and I did not kill him. You were dreaming.”
Spencer stopped screaming, but continued to cry. His heart was pounding. It had been so real, and he’d been so afraid and so devastated. “Hotch …”
“Call him up, cherie!” came a male voice with a New Orleans drawl from the doorway. “Let him talk to Hotch, see for himself that he’s all right.”
Spencer looked up to see Will standing there in the light of the hall, holding out a cellphone. JJ got up to take it, then dialled and gave the phone to Spencer. After three rings, a familiar voice croaked, “Hotchner.”
“Hotch!” Spencer wailed. “You’re not dead!”
“No, buddy, I’m not dead,” Hotch replied. “Did you have a bad dream?”
“I dreamed that – that JJ killed you! And she was trying -- trying to lie to me that she hadn’t, but I saw you – I saw your dead body!”
“That must have been a pretty bad nightmare,” Hotch said. “But I’m alive, JJ did not kill me, and nobody is lying to you. Okay?”
“And I couldn’t – couldn’t go home with you because – because you were dead! And I couldn’t go home – couldn’t go home with JJ because – because she killed you! And I couldn’t go home – couldn’t go home with Rossi or Morgan because – because they have dogs! And I couldn’t go home with Emily because – because of her foot! And I couldn’t go home with Garcia because of Kevin! And I couldn’t go to Gideon because he was gone! And I couldn’t even go live with the black and white rabbit because Henry had it!”
After a moment, Hotch said, “I’ll bet you felt all alone, like everybody had abandoned you.”
“Uh huh.” Now that he had talked it all out, Spencer felt the panic start to ebb and his sobs begin to subside.
“But I’m here, Spencer. I’m not dead. JJ did not kill me. And you couldn’t go live with a rabbit anyway, whatever that was all about.”
“That was just part of the dream,” Spencer said, sniffing. Now that he’d stopped crying and the panic was mostly gone, he was starting to feel distinctly sheepish.
“And if there really was nobody else to take care of you, I’ll bet Strauss would take you for a night or two.”
Spencer managed a shaky laugh. “Hotch, you’re supposed to be making me feel better, not giving me more nightmares.”
The amusement was audible in Hotch’s voice as he asked, “Do you feel better now?”
“Yeah. I’m okay.” Spencer used his fingers to wipe the tears from his cheeks.
“Do you think you could let JJ give you a hug from me?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m sorry I woke you up. But you can blame Will, he’s the one who actually called you.”
“Thanks!” Will exclaimed in the background.
“I would have done the same thing,” Hotch said. “Now let JJ hug you, and then go back to sleep, and have good dreams about books or physics magic or … something.”
Spencer smiled. “Okay. Thanks, Hotch. Good night.”
“Good night, Spencer.”
Spencer ended the call and returned the phone. “Thanks, Will. I’m really sorry I woke you guys up. Um, you can go back to bed now. I’ll be all right.”
“Do you want a hug?” JJ asked.
Spencer was just about to say yes when Henry made a soft snuffling sound in his sleep. Afraid that he would wake up and make a grab for his mom, Spencer hastily said, “No, that’s okay.”
“Here, Spencer, come with me,” JJ said, extending her hand. Spencer got out of the sleeping bag on his own and followed her across the hall to their bedroom, but hesitated at the door.
“No offence, cherie, but I don’t want him sleeping in our bed,” Will said.
“I don’t want that, either. That’d be too weird,” Spencer agreed.
“I just want to have a little talk with you, Spencer, where we won’t wake Henry up, and then you can go back, okay?”
“Not like you can wake me up anymore than you already did,” Will said, going around to the opposite side.
“I’m sorry!” Spencer exclaimed. “I didn’t mean to have a nightmare. I’ll try not to, from now on, and if I do, I’ll try not to make noise.”
“Oh, honey, that’s not what I wanted to talk about.” JJ sat down on the edge of the mattress, then patted the space next to her. “Come here.”
Spencer climbed warily up onto the bed, wondering what she wanted to discuss.
“I heard what Hotch told you,” she said. “I should give you a hug from him. And I know why you said you didn’t want one. Henry’s been really possessive lately, and you’re too nice to push back.”
“You’re his mother, you’re not mine,” Spencer said.
“Yes, but sometimes you need hugs, and sometimes there’s nobody around except me who can give them to you. So, now that we’re undisturbed, I want to give you that hug from Hotch, and then another one from me, okay? And you can hug me as long as you want to, because Henry’s not here to push you away. Okay?”
“Okay.” Spencer let her settle him in her lap, and hugged back as she put her arms around him. “Thanks, JJ.”
+++++
31 October 2011
Monday was Halloween. Henry had already got his costume the week before, and pulled it on before breakfast because he was supposed to wear it to daycare for the planned Halloween party there. Spencer was not surprised to see it represented one of the Sword-Swinging Cats, and asked politely, “Which Cat are you?”
“Tobias Itchpaw!” Henry announced, and Spencer was just glad he wasn’t drinking anything at that moment. Thankfully, the flash of dread at that name passed almost as quickly as it had come.
“Twitchpaw,” he corrected.
“I’m afraid Henry got it mixed up the first time he tried to say it, and because we laughed, he’s been calling him Tobias Itchpaw ever since,” JJ explained.
Spencer forced a smile. He tried not to wish that Henry had got the Tobias part mixed up instead, but reminded himself that it was only because he was a child that the name was affecting him this badly. Once he got back to his regular age, it wouldn’t bother him so much.
“What kind of costume do you think you’d like for when you go out trick-or-treating to-night?” Will asked.
“We’re going trick-or-treating?” Spencer felt silly for not having realised it before. This year, he wouldn’t be sitting in his apartment with a small bowl of candy in case somebody rang his bell. Of course JJ would be taking Henry out, even if Will had to work, and of course Spencer would have to go with them. Well, it wouldn’t be too bad. He liked candy, too.
“We could buy you a costume quickly on the way home from work,” JJ added. “You could be one of the other Cats. They’re really popular this year.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he said. “I always wanted to be Mr Spock or Doctor Who, but I don’t think they have costumes like that for kids.”
“Definitely not Mr Spock,” Will said. “Saw a little kind of lab coat, though.”
Spencer looked at him in dismay. “Doctor Who doesn’t wear a lab coat!”
“Will’s never seen Doctor Who,” JJ explained. “He’s not really into science fiction.”
“Saw plenty of policeman costumes if you want to be somebody cool,” Will teased.
“I could just wear my badge and tell everybody I’m an FBI profiler,” Spencer said. “That’s cooler.”
JJ laughed and shot Will a fond look. “He’s got you there.”
+++++
Hotch entered the bullpen shortly after they did, and JJ caught his eye. “Happy Halloween, Hotch. Are you taking Jack out trick-or-treating?”
“No, and Jack’s pretty upset about it. He keeps claiming he’s not that sick.” Hotch smiled. “He even got a pair of barbecue tongs that he said he could use to get the candy so he wouldn’t get close enough to breathe on anybody.”
JJ and Spencer both laughed, and JJ said, “When he’s well enough, why don’t you bring him over to our place for a catch-up Halloween celebration? The boys can wear their costumes and we can play some games, watch a Halloween movie or something?”
“That’s a good idea, thanks. What about you, Spencer? Are you dressing up and going trick-or-treating with Henry?”
“Yeah. JJ’s taking me out after work to buy a costume and then we’re going around the neighbourhood.”
“What kind of costume are you thinking of? Jack was begging to be Cheerwell Stumptail, but he got sick before we could buy anything for him.”
“I don’t know, I haven’t decided yet. I’ll just see what’s available.”
But when they got to the store, there wasn’t much choice. Spencer glanced at the Tinkerbell costume and the generic princess costume and sighed.
“I guess I’ll be an FBI profiler,” Spencer said. “My FBI jacket would have been a nice touch, but I left it at Hotch’s.”
“You can wear mine,” JJ offered.
“Oh, yeah, that’s a good idea, thanks.”
At home, with Henry waiting impatiently, he pulled on JJ’s jacket, which thankfully was not quite as long as his, let her roll up the sleeves so he could get his hands out, then attached his badge to the front. JJ got a pillowcase for each of them, and off they went, starting with the neighbours in the house next door. There were lots of other families out at the same time, patient-looking parents escorting their brightly costumed children up and down the streets. Along with the Cats, who apparently greeted each other with happy cries of “Salute, Sword-Swingers!” there were also an awful lot of children wearing Hogwarts robes, pointing wands and yelling “Expelliarmus!” and, once, even “Avada Kedavra!”
Spencer answered that one by pointing his fingers like a gun and shouting, “Freeze, FBI!” which made JJ giggle.
But eventually JJ said, “It’s time to go home now.”
Spencer looked around. “But we haven’t finished the street yet.”
“It’s six thirty and Henry’s getting over-excited. He needs a few minutes to unwind before bed, and I think you do, too,” JJ explained.
“But the street only has two more houses on this side. Can’t we do those two at least?”
“More tricker treat!” Henry demanded.
JJ sighed. “Okay, those two, and nothing else. After the last one there, we are going home.”
The first of the two houses unfortunately had a poster on it that a sex offender lived there, and children were not allowed to trick or treat. And at first it seemed that the second house also had a similar poster on the door, but as they got closer, Spencer could see that it advertised something completely different.
“All Hallows Read!” he announced. “Look, a picture of Frankenstein’s Monster! Do you think they’ll hand out copies of Frankenstein?”
“I wouldn’t think so,” JJ said. “It’s probably just a decoration.”
They rang the bell and when the door opened, Spencer and Henry bellowed “Trick or treat!” The man in the doorway said, “Well, would you like candy or a book?”
“A book!” Spencer exclaimed. Henry, of course, wanted, “Candy!”
“Finally, somebody who wants a book!” the man exclaimed. “How about … this one?”
He offered Spencer a red book with a drawing of a boy on the front. “It’s called Jim, Who Ran Away from His Nurse and Was Eaten by a Lion.”
Spencer looked at the book and said, “It just says “A Cautionary Tale, Jim, and then here it says Warning, contains a dangerous beast and a miserable end.”
“Oh, you can read already?”
“Yes, I can read already. What other books do you have on offer?” Spencer looked past the man, to a small pile of books on a chair by the door. “Do you have the original Frankenstein? I haven’t read that one yet.”
The man’s smile turned into a slightly bewildered expression and he said, “No, funnily enough, there’s not much demand for Mary Shelley among the kids who come to my door for treats. Or among the adults, either, come to think of it. But I do have a book of nefarious silliness called Hallowilloween if you’d prefer some poetry.”
“Nefarious silliness?” Spencer repeated, and the man reached back for the next book on the pile. It was a black book with a painting of an orange cat’s head on the front, broadly grinning to show many sharply pointed teeth.
“Poems might be fun,” Spencer mused. “I haven’t read much poetry. Okay, I’ll take that one. Thank you!”
He took it and stuffed it into his pillowcase to read later.
“You’re very welcome, Mister FBI Agent. Did your mommy help you get that badge? Nice touch.” Without waiting for an answer, the man looked over at Henry. “And you said you wanted candy?”
“Candy!” Henry demanded.
The man pulled out a bowl of small cartons of Milk Duds and let Henry take one, then offered it to Spencer, who said, “No, thank you, I already have the book.”
“You can have both,” the man said.
“Both books?” Spencer could hardly believe his luck, and only then realised the man had probably meant both a book and candy.
“Sure, why not? Looks like they’re going to a good home.” The man handed over the first book as well.
“Oh, yes,” JJ put in. “This boy just loves books.”
“Thank you so much!” Spencer exclaimed again. JJ nudged Henry and prompted, “What do we say?”
“Fank you!” Henry said.
“Hope you like them. Come back next year for more. Happy Halloween!” The man shut the door.
Spencer was so excited about the books, even though they were for children, that he went down one of the porch steps, then jumped over all the others to land on the walkway. He even added a few extra jumps just for good measure. “I got books for Halloween! I didn’t know people gave out books for Halloween! This is so cool!”
“I had no idea that this was a thing,” JJ admitted.
“Do you think there’s anybody else around here who gives away books?” Spencer asked, looking around as they walked and hoping to spot another All Hallows Read poster on a door.
“I don’t think so, and anyway, what did I say? That was the last house and we are going home now,” JJ said.
“Henry, do you want me to read you some of the poems before bed?” Spencer asked.
“No bed,” Henry said. “More tricker treat!”
“Yes bed,” JJ said. “Trick or treat is over for this year.”
“JJ, this was the best Halloween ever!” Spencer exclaimed. “Thanks for taking me!”
“It’s so good to see you happy again, Spencer,” JJ said, smiling. “Thank you for giving me another chance.”
+++++ November 2011
After spending ten days with JJ and Will, Spencer went back to Hotch’s apartment to find that Hotch had bought a second chest of drawers and a bunk bed for Jack’s room. Jack got the top bunk, because he was older, and Spencer found that he did not miss sleeping on the floor or living out of his go-bag at all. Hotch also took him to buy a winter coat and boots, which turned out to be a good idea, because their next case took them to Michigan, where it had already snowed. The autumn season for soccer ended, and snow fell in Virginia as well. When Spencer admitted he’d never been sledding before, because snow was rare in Las Vegas, Hotch took him and Jack to the nearest hill. It was wonderfully fun. But as Thanksgiving approached, Spencer found himself feeling uneasy more and more often, and finally, Hotch noticed.
“What’s up, Spencer?” he asked after they had dropped Jack off at school and were on their way to work.
“Nothing,” he replied. “Why do you ask?”
“You seem a bit distracted lately. And I thought you might have been crying this morning.”
Spencer frowned. He’d tried to hide the fact that he’d woken up with tears in his eyes, but perhaps he hadn’t turned away fast enough when Hotch had come in. Finally, he sighed. “I dreamed last night that the re-aging machine was ready, and I jumped into it, and when I came out, I was old, and I kept getting older, really fast, in seconds instead of minutes, until I got so old that I died, and then I woke up. And I thought, what if I really do die, and I never get to see my mom again?”
“You want to go visit your mom?” Hotch asked.
“Yeah,” Spencer admitted. “I miss her more than I used to when I was older. I’d really like to see her again. Calling her on the phone wouldn’t be the same, but I think I would be able to convince her it’s really me if I could see her in person. She’s always telling me ‘a mother knows’ and ‘mothers feel these things.’”
“You went out to see her last Thanksgiving, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, and the year before that, too, and I was hoping to go again this Thanksgiving as well, but that was before I got de-aged,” Spencer said. “But please don’t think you have to take me. I know Jack’s really looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with you and Jessica and his grandpa.”
“And I can tell you’re not,” Hotch said.
“I’d feel like an intruder. I don’t even know Jessica all that well, and I’ve never met your father-in-law. But I’ll be good and try not to embarrass you.”
Later that morning, however, they were headed out to a case in West Wendover, Nevada.
“If we get back in time for Thanksgiving, where will you celebrate it?” Spencer asked Ally as they sat on the plane.
“With Gabriel and his family,” she replied with compartmentalized calm, then turned the question around. “And you?”
“I’ll be going with Hotch to his in-laws,” he said, trying and failing to match her completely neutral tone.
JJ leaned over. “You can come with us, Spence. Will and I will be taking Henry to my mother.”
“I’d invite you, too, but I promised I’d spend my Thanksgiving with both of my parents, if I’m in town,” Emily put in, though she sounded even less excited about it than Spencer felt about Hotch’s in-laws. “A real family dinner.”
“I’ll be trying to get to Chicago, see my mother and my sisters,” Morgan put in. “You’re welcome to come with me if you want – you’ve met them before.”
“Yeah, as an adult,” Spencer remembered. “But thanks anyway.”
“Kevin and I are celebrating at home,” Garcia said brightly. “No in-laws, no outlaws, just the two of us.”
“It’ll just be the two of us, too,” Rossi put in. “Me and Mudgie.”
They ended up catching the group of Unsubs on the afternoon before Thanksgiving Day. Everybody packed quickly, looking forward to a night flight and an early arrival for the holiday. But as Spencer was finishing zipping his go-bag, there was a knock at the door of his hotel room. He raced over to answer it, sure that it would be Morgan rounding them up for the drive to the airstrip, and was surprised to see Rossi there.
“Hey, kiddo, can I come in?” he asked.
“Sure.” Spencer trotted away from the door, and Rossi followed. “Johnson, the cars are already out front. I just want to talk to Spencer for a minute.”
“I’ll give you the room,” Ally said, pulling her bag over her shoulder and going out. Rossi sat down in one of the chairs, and Spencer climbed up onto the other one.
“So, Spencer, how about we rent a car and drive down to Vegas to visit your mother?” Rossi offered, and Spencer gaped at him for a moment.
“Did Hotch put you up to this?” he finally asked.
“He might have mentioned the situation,” Rossi said. “But I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t want to go.”
“I’d really like to see my mom,” Spencer said. “I miss her so much.”
“Well, then, come on. We can take a few days, you can show me the desert.”
“In those shoes?” Spencer looked down at Rossi’s custom-made footware, and they both smiled.
Rossi made some calls and got them a room in Vegas, then the team dropped them off at the nearest car rental place and they rented the best of what was available. When they stopped for supper, Spencer bit happily into his cheeseburger. “I thought I’d never eat fast food again, what with Ally watching out for me.”
“What does she feed you?”
“Healthy stuff. Weird vegetables like eggplant and kale. Lots of lentils and beans.”
“Beans,” said Rossi slowly, savouring the word. “My Nonna used to make the most delicious pasta e fagioli. My mother made it, too, but hers wasn’t as good as Nonna’s. We had it so often that I thought I’d never want to eat it again … until I’d been in the marines for a week, and then I would have killed for it. I used to dream about it in Vietnam.”
“I never dream about food,” Spencer said. “I dreamed about coffee a few weeks ago, though.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Rossi laughed.
After they got back on the road, it didn’t take long for Spencer to fall asleep, and he only woke up when Rossi got him out of the car seat and made him walk to the elevator. He was vaguely aware of clinging to Rossi’s arm to keep himself standing as they rode up and entered the hotel room, and then he staggered to the nearest bed and lay down on top of the covers.
The next thing he knew, the sun was streaming through one window and he was hungry. Rossi was asleep on his back in the other bed, snoring lightly, so Spencer went over and gave him a little shake. “Rossi!”
Rossi made an unhappy sound and turned away from him. Spencer tried again. “Rossi, can we have breakfast now?”
“G’back t’sleep,” Rossi mumbled.
“But it’s daytime, and I’m hungry.” Almost every day since being de-aged, Spencer had woken up ready and willing to eat. He supposed it was part of “being a growing boy.”
“Room service,” Rossi told him without even opening his eyes.
Sighing, Spencer went around to the other side of the bed where the telephone was, found the laminated sheet of emergency numbers that included room service and picked up the receiver. Then he realized he didn’t know which room they were in, so he went to the door and opened it to see the number on the outside, then came back to the phone.
“Hello, I’d like to order breakfast, please,” he said.
“Sweetie, we don’t let children younger than fourteen order room service, but I’ll be happy to talk to your mommy or daddy,” the woman on the other end told him. “Can you put them on, or are they still asleep?”
“They’re still asleep, but thanks, anyway.” Defeated, Spencer hung up. Sometimes he really hated being this young. A memory came into his mind of Dr Kapoor explaining how his wife had been willing to offer all their money and the house to be twenty nine again. Spencer knew exactly how she felt, even if he was coming from the opposite direction.
Although growing hungrier and hungrier, Spencer managed to keep himself occupied until Rossi woke up on his own and went through his morning routine. Finally, Rossi was ready, but when Spencer mentioned breakfast, Rossi frowned. “Didn’t you get room service?”
“They wouldn’t let me order because I’m not old enough,” Spencer said with a scowl.
“Oh. Sorry, guess I wasn’t thinking. Well, I think I saw a couple of restaurants on our way in, how about you pick the one you want to eat at?”
As they went through the lobby, Spencer saw a rack of brochures advertising various attractions around Las Vegas. Having grown up there, he knew most of them, but then something unfamiliar caught his eye. He let go of Rossi’s hand so that he could get closer and pick up the brochure.
“Rossi, look! The National Atomic Testing Museum! In association with the Smithsonian Institution! This must be new, I’ve never seen it before! Do you think we have time to go, after I’ve seen my mom?”
Rossi looked at the brochure. “It’s probably closed to-day, but we should be able to go to-morrow, if …”
He let his voice trail off until Spencer was looking expectantly at him. “If what, Rossi?”
“If you don’t let go of my hand and run off like that again.”
“It was only three steps!” Spencer protested, but slumped under Rossi’s glare. “Yes, sir.”
“And,” Rossi continued, lowering his voice a little, “if you call me Nonno. Not Rossi, not grandpa, not dad. Nonno.”
“Yes … Nonno,” Spencer said, trying it out. It felt so weird. ‘Grandpa’ would have been weird, too, but slightly less … well … foreign.
“Only for this trip and only when we’re in public, so people don’t get the wrong idea about us,” Rossi clarified. “Don’t call me that back in the office.”
“Okay.” Spencer had no intention of calling him Nonno back at the office, and wondered how little he could manage to use it out in public, too.
Part 13
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