You see, the more I read books, and think about writing my own, the more I worry that this part of my personality will keep me from writing a book that people will both read, and like, and from creating a character that people will identify with, and like.
Often, when you read books, you get a sense of what the author must be like. The Rhea Jensen books by Sheralyn Pratt, for instance, are very autobiographical. You just know how active and energetic and friendly the author is, how she can deal with all kinds of people and get in and out of situations with grace instead of looking like a completel idiot. This is another point that has been worrying me lately. Even if I did manage to write an entire book, I'm sure my personality would seep through, and people would be put off. They would wonder why the main character doesn't have any friends, for instance, or why she does things they would consider childish or even stupid. I am a fairly passive person, I think, or at least I've learned from experience that things very often go wrong whenever I try not to be. It's hard for me to write an active character who takes charge and acts, instead of being acted upon, and passive characters are not well looked-upon in the literary community.
I've already mentioned that I have a huge problem in finding the resolution to a problem. Sometimes I can, and sometimes I can't. I have a book about half written, and I've stopped in the middle because I just can't see how to go on. I've tried various continuations, but nothing seems to work. I see that in real life, too. Sometimes (all too often) I get into a social situation where, for instance, someone does something unexpected or even unpleasant, and I just don't know how to respond. I usually end up making a mess of things, overreacting, underreacting, or reacting to something that I've misunderstood. Same with friendships. I either give way too much, or way too little, or expect unrealistic things, or everything altogether.
And this sort of thing comes out in your writing, whether you want it to, or not. I think the best writers have the best people skills; they understand all different kinds of people, they know how to deal with all different kinds of people, and therefore, they can create characters that the readers can both identify with and like. I don't understand other people -- I don't even understand myself!
Basically, I'm just having trouble at the moment trying to reconcile my talent with words with my lack of social skills. Sometimes I wish I had more options -- I think I would make a good editor, or even an excellent proof-reader -- but then I have this very slight deficit of living in the wrong country.
So where do I go from here? That's the problem -- I just don't know.